Scene 10: Gravity Warps Time
South of the Villain Camp, approx eighteen miles out
A rippling, shuddering portal tore it’s way into existence with a howl of multicolored Void turbulence. Out launched a seemingly young woman who could’ve sworn that she was traveling with another person half a second ago. In an upward parabolic arc. At mach three. Directly North.
Umbra calculated that she’d smash face first into Zero’s crotch within the next three minutes, if everything went smoothly. If not, then Zero learning what Marshmallow Hell feels like is also a suitable result.
Kat Shifter; The Gravity Queen, General of Equestria, Goddess of Battle
The Fighter
(Well, it was nice knowing Zero while he was alive. Not.)
As she involuntarily flew through the atmosphere of Battle World 1, Kat noticed a dark, spooky forest directly below her. Unfortunately, her current trajectory carried her far beyond said forest and directly into the meeting of two beings who were decidedly not her allies.
In the case of one, the into applies more literally.
Back with Zero and Don
Don had begun looking over the list of equipment sent with the armory when he heard the sound of a large, organic object flying through the air.
It sounded a lot like any other object flying really, except there was a bit more screaming factoring into the dopplering sound.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT!”
At the sound of screaming, Zero took a step to the side and back as the Death Knights with him formed a wall of metal armor and swords between him and the flying object.
Not that it helped much.
Kat instinctively used her gravity abilities to increase her mass enough to plow through whatever objects in her way. Which she did. Straight into Zero. Who thankfully survived the initial blow.
“Ow, what the hell did I just hit and where is Umbra so I can hit him?” she groaned, sitting up on top of Zero.
Skreeeee-slam-crunch
“Dammit! Not another one! Don! Put your minions away!
Kat, sorry about the turbulence. I’m in the Hero’s Castle some……. fifty-ish miles East of here. Sorry.
-Umbra”
Zero simply looked up at her, groaning slightly as he responds "Not that I mind you on top of me, but if you don't move, I'll file sexual harassment charges."
Kat looked down, her face blank. She got off and stared down at the… thing below her. She lifted her hand and forced about thirty orgasms (G’s) onto him, pressing him further into the ground
Taking a glance at the knights now strewn about the place, Don walked over to the once human projectile. “Would you calm down woman? The war hasn’t even started and you already have rekt (wounded) one of the participants.”
Kat looked over at him, not very amused. “Sorry, but I don’t take to kindly to comments like those. Now, if you will excuse me, I have places to be, people to see and plans to crush the both of you,” she said pointing a finger at the two of them, “to make. Off I’ll be.” Kat began to take to the air, but stopped for a quick second. “You know, you chose the wrong side. You’ll all be destroyed in the end for joining him.”
Don laughed before looking up at the girl. “Are you saying you wouldn’t try to fuck (destroy) us anyway? I’m sure a hero like you could find some way of justifying ending our lives.”
Kat flew right up to his face, a snarl ever present. “Now you listen here, I don’t give a damn what you do on your Equestria. I rightly couldn’t care less, but when you help a ‘man’ who threatens not just his own, but every world in existence, that’s when I get mad.” She then gravity kicked Don right toward a nearby rock only for him to be caught by shadows springing up from the ground. “That’s your one and only warning, leave this war and go back to destroying your own worlds. Or you will be destroyed here.”
Zero simply chuckled and responds with "Wow, quite the temper on you. Though you might find us much harder to kill then you think."
Kat returned her attention to Zero, laying in the crater. “Yes, I am angry. You threaten my Flutters and I rip off your head. Simple as that. Now, see you on the battlefield, boys, or so you fear.” Kat flew high up from them and shot off in the direction of the Hero Castle.
"I can already think of a few ways to knock her down a few notches....(Mostly with a few rounds of angry sex)" Zero mumbles to himself as he sits up.
“So can I,” Don spoke as he walked back from where he had been sent flying “Though just from that alone I can tell this is going to be quite an interesting war.”
Somewhere West of the Arena, closer to the Arena than any of the Bases.
Right outside the entrance known as 2-B, a portal materialized as it had with so many others. This one was, unlike some, stable; ejaculating(ejected) only one being: A man with a pocket watch.
Michael Faraday; Lord of Time
Mr. Shitpunk Mc’Asshole
(Would go into bullet time, and kick Zero’s kidneys into his mouth.)
“Um… hello?” Michael took a look around, noticing the beef taco (barren room). “Is there someone out there?”
Skreeeeeee
Okay, seriously, what’s with all the packages? This is like the eleventh one! And, of course. Another note.
“Hello Michael. Welcome to Battle World 1. Teridax’s base is to the West from here. There’s a compass in the box. The Hero’s Castle is to the East, though I don’t recommend going there. Some of the heroes can ignore your abilities. Also, I can too. And I’m there.
The bowtie with the crystal? Well, more info on that when you actually put it on. It’ll be good for you.
Good luck~
–Umbra
(Don’t mess with me. Seriously. Don’t)”
“So, rule one: the Doctor lies.”
‘Shut the fuck up, you jackass,’ Michael said from inside my mind, ‘before I come out and smack you in the face.’
“Rule two: Don’t screw with this… Umbra chap.”
‘I think we got that from the note, why are you saying it out loud?’
“Rule three: Bowties are cool.”
‘Quit it with the Doctor Who crap! You know that-’ It was at this point that Michael pulled the bowtie out of the box-removing the tie he currently had on-and slung the new neck wear around his collar, tying it quickly with skilled hands.
A moment passed, both halves slightly confused at how the bowtie was supposed to help either of them. And then the most curious feeling happened.
VWORPLE
The Michael felt himself being torn out of Nicholas’ psyche and stuffed into the red half of the jewel on the bowtie, his form compressing into a ball of malevolently red energy that flung itself into the distance towards the Villain Camp.
Nicholas Faraday; The Other Lord of Time
NOT Mr. Shitpunk Mc’Asshole
(Could also kick Zero’s kidneys into his mouth.)
Nicholas, who was now the sole owner of his body, suddenly noted the presence of slightly more green in his attire, along with the gear shaped jewel on his bowtie suddenly becoming a whole emerald, instead of sharing its space with a ruby.
Skreeeeee-paff
“I apologize for the inconvenience, but now you’ve got complete control of your own body. Of course, to prevent the deaths of everyone on this planet, Michael has incredibly reduced abilities until the war properly begins. The Hero base is directly East from here, just follow the map in the envelope. Also, once the war starts, both of you can only use your full abilities in the Arena. So I don’t have to mop up more blood than I already have.
Good luck~
–Umbra”
‘What is it with Umbra and luck?’ Nicholas thought to Mic- oh wait… he then remembered exactly what had just happened and the implications hit him like a freight train.
“We’re all gonna die.”
At Neutral Territory
Essence looked into the pond and groaned. Why? Nothing much. Just that her friends she saved from the demise of her home aren’t in this universe. Otherwise, she’s fine.
Opening the door to the wooden fortress and walking down the steps, she stretched. All the crouching had made her body stressed.
Pop
“Sorry to give you such short notice, but…. INCOMING!
-Umbra
(Also, could you charge admission at the Arena when the War starts?)
“Sure, I guess and wait what-” she was smooshed by someone. “OOMPH!”
Ansem; Seeker of Darkness
One Heartless Motherfucker
(Night, night Zero.)
Essence, now partially smooshed into the ground, could hear Ansem above her conversing.
“I half expected to be alone,” Ansem said, raising his hand. Several pools of darkness formed around him, spawning a few Neo Shadows. “Go, find Teridax,” he ordered, sending the Heartless scurrying off. He looked down at his feet, noticing he had landed on something. “Hmm...whats this?”
“More like someone, buddy,” came a muffled voice. All that could be seen was an adorably fluffy tail.
“I’m amazed you are alive,” Ansem said, looking at the tail with some amusement.
“I survived the end of my world, and well, come from a council of... immortals? either way. I think I’m good. Now, could you, or whoever is sitting on me, please move? It’s uncomfortable,” her muffled voice responded.
“Nothing is over you,” Ansem said, tilting his head to the side.
“Then can you pull me out of the ground? I think your weird force or whatever smooshed me into it.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Cookies?”
“I don’t eat,” Ansem replied boredly.
“I hate you. UMBRA! Get me out of the dirt please.”
VWORPLE
“Better?”
“Thank you. Now,” she brushed the dirt out of her tail and off her ears. “Tea?”
VWORPLE
“Gah! Shit!”
Umbra fell to the ground, reeking of alcohol and poor decisions. And horrendously butchered English.
“Bah. wehre teh fcku am I?”
Drunkenly looking around, Umbra spotted Ansem and Essence standing a few feet away, all staring at him.
“Teh fcuk uyo tanw!?”
Suddenly a woman in her late fifties comes out of nowhere, grabs Umbra by the ear, and drags him away from the three.
“Mom! I was playing with my friends!! Why do you have to ruin everything?!”
Groaning, Essence shook her head, “Umbra, sheesh. Anyway. Somewhere in that direction is the Villain Camp. The opposite direction is the Hero’s Castle. Neutral Territory is manned by yours truly,” as she spoke her tail flicked in the directions she mentioned.
VWORPLE
“I’d like you all to ignore what just happened. That was not my mother. That was me creating constructs while pretending to be drunk and being drugged up for real. I apologize for the disturbance.”
VWORPLE
“Why do I doubt that?” she turned back to Ansem, “Feel free to roam. I recommend you stay away from the opposite side.” She turned around, making her way towards her base as Ansem looked at her.
Ansem sighed and headed Villain camps.
In the Void, Near Umbra’s Private Universe…
The dark figure, cloaked in reds so dark they were near black, watched his workings ensue. Not only had he created mass chaos but he had done it so deliciously!
The Merchant; Major Dick, The Scumsucking Bitchsack That’s Been Fucking With Other Universes Like a Pile of Shit, Umbra’s Number One Mark on His Shit List, Desire, Essence’s Rival, Destined to Get Kicked In The Balls Hard Enough To Make A Big Bang Three Times Over, Has Horrible Interest Rates, Five Hundred And Sixth on the List of ‘Best Merchants in the Void’ out of Five Hundred And Seven (Umbra is Number Seven), Real Name is Lucy, Freaking Long Ass Title List
The Meddling Asshole
(Zero wants to kick him in the nuts like the pussy ass bitch he is, but would still probably die)
Snickering, he watched the events slowly unfold until something made him destroy his popcorn. Shame, really; the popcorn didn’t do anything. In fact, it was delicious. The said event, the arrival of The Musician, made him realize that for one, his rival wasn’t dead; and two, his plan to destroy that world either failed or messed up as usual. Fuming, he stood up and called for The Reaper, a personal friend and ally of his who has major issues when dealing with living people, angry that he never told him of her continued existence.
The sub-deity popped in directly behind him. Screaming like a girl, then regaining his composure, The Merchant spoke up, “You never told me SHE still lived.”
The Reaper; The Gate Holder, The Merchant’s Reluctant Only Friend, Not Really an Asshole, Grim, Wants to be a Farmer, Terrible With Plants
The Bored One
(Could kill Zero but would turn him into a plant instead)
The Reaper shook his head, “Damn stereotypes. I am not Death related.”
The Merchant glared at him, “Incompetent fool.”
Reaper rolled his eyes. ‘Look at yourself.’ His demeanor spoke for itself. The man’s shoulders slumped slightly and he looked exhausted. Speaking up again, “I suppose you want something to be done?”
“Yes!” The Merchant said quickly.
Sighing, The Reaper dropped something out of a bag and into Umbra’s Private Universe. The objects hurtled downwards towards the Neutral Territory where The Musician sat drinking some tea. Aside from a thud, The Musician heard nothing.
The Merchant looked positively ecstatic. This would show her not to mess with him. Although, he still remembered the time she had forced him to eat his own underpants in a bet –he may have been tasting literal shit for a week– and could guess she might get out of it.
“OI! NARRATOR! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS DOUCHEBAG DOING OUTSIDE ME PRIVATE UNIVERSE? Oh hi, Reaper, what are you doing here?”
<Sorry Umbra. The trees made me do it. Just bear with me. I’ll let you kick him in the nuts in a moment.>
Reaper spoke up, “Nothing much. Just helping Lucy with his plots,” Reaper smirked at his pun. The Merchant just so happens to have some… clop in his pocket, I might add.
“WAIT WHAT. NARRATOR, TMI. T. M. I.”
Umbra’s left pocket bulged and images of anime girls, and disturbingly, Essence, shot out of his pocket.
<What was that? Umbra, no holding images of my character in explicit poses>
“... JSYRIN HELP ME KICK THIS OTHER NARRATOR’S ASS.”
^WISH GRANTED, MOTHERFUCKERS^
(Furious combat erupts between the two Narrators) (..... Hi. I’m The Backup Narrator)
“‘SUP?”
(As the fourth wall breaking and Narrator combat reached its deadly crescendo, I, the Backup Narrator, stealthily took over their position and brought the story from “Holy Shit What” to “Normal Chaos”. You’re welcome, dear reader.)
The Reaper turned about and left The Merchant at his viewing deck.
Umbra’s Pimped Out Announcer/ DJ Booth (It’s got a fucking mini-fridge! Holy shit!)
Umbra stepped away from the microphone he had been using to yell at the Narrators. Sighing, he collapsed into his swivelling, ultra-comfortable, reclining futon/chair.
“God DAMN! I don’t even…. fuck if I…… fuck fuckity fuck fuck fucking fucker fuck fuckshit fuckhole FUCKING FUCKSLUT MOTHER FUCKING WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FUCKING FUCKSHIT BULLSHIT WHAT THE FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”
And promptly flipped the fuck out.
“[Entire sentence deleted due to extreme expletive levels. Suffice to say, it lasted half an hour and went through every swear word in every language in the Multiverse. Without a single repeat.]”
Finally spent, Umbra collapsed even further into his chair and contemplated his next move for the next few seconds.
“I wonder what Reaper dropped….”
<*pokes in* Might wanna investigate, hm?>
“Quiet, you. I want the other Narrator.”
(Me?)
“Yes”
Leaping from his chair in an impressive display of aerial acrobatics, Umbra performed a few more moves and promptly disappeared in his trademarked flash of color and
VWORPLE
Miles away in Neutral Territory, Umbra appeared, not in his normal manner, but in a slight shifting of the shadows, stepping out of an unnoticed bit of darkness below a tree root.
“Blegh, what’s in those roots? Magic like that, makes me wanna be human again so I don’t have to taste it with my fucking brain.”
Nearby Essence was looking at a weird looking box. The box wobbled and opened, a small plant creature crawling out. On it’s back there was note saying, Sorry.
Essence raised an eyebrow. Why would they- She was cut off as the little plant creature turned into a five-story tall killer plant beast.
Umbra noticed this as well, mostly from the strange feel of the magic in the area.
“Aww, it’s adorable how they thought that could kill anyone in the War. Hell, even Zero could take it out with his new laser eye.”
As if on cue, a laser hit the beast which grunted and turned around.
“Wait, that isn’t Zero’s magic signature. What. Who else has a magic signature matching laser eyes!?”
Essence shrugged. “Dunno. Want me to take it out?”
“Um… Sure?”
Essence jumped sky high as the beast’s arm arced towards her. Spinning, she kicked it in the face and dropped down only to land on the creature's out-stretched leg. The beast tried to kick her into the air but she sneezed directly into the monster’s face, stunning it. Then she did something unexpected. She spat on it, and off it went. Soaring into the sky faster than the speed of sound before it exploded. She landed gracefully on the ground.
“......Well then. That’s that. Laters!”
VWORPLE
“Um…”
VWORPLE
“Almost forgot, here’s your uniform for later. Well, actually, you just need the hat and nametag. So, yeah. Nice digs ya got here. Very nature-y. Welp, laters!”
Tossing said hat and nametag at Essence, Umbra left again in another
VWORPLE
In the skies over the Villain’s Camp
‘Twas not all that uncommon to see random objects flying around in Battle World 1’s atmosphere, but an orb of malignant, red energy was usually unseen.
Unless the laser wasps were firing plasma bolts again. Then they were distressingly common.
This orb, however, encased the body of one Michael Faraday, currently with reduced powers, much more red in his outfit, and greatly reduced powers, on top of the previous power reduction. Oh, and a snazzy, gold bowtie with a gear-shaped ruby imbedded into the center.
‘The hell happened? One second he puts on that tie, the next I feel like I’m being ripped out of my own head! Well, technically it was Nick’s head, but that’s against the point!’
As Michael flew over the camp for Villains, he noticed something strange. He decided, on a whim, to investigate this anomaly.
‘Nick, you there?’ he called into the recesses of his mind. ‘What is this? Am I finally free of him? But, wait. If he’s gone, does that mean he’s gone forever? I know I always told him I wanted him gone, but now that he really is....’ In his contemplation, Michael was oblivious to the quickly approaching missile. When he did finally notice it, it was far too late.
“Shit!” he had time to shout out before they collided.
–
“......Ouch. That’s gotta sting.”
“Hey wait a minute, why is the camera over here!? Focus on Kat and Mikey, asshat!”
–
“Ow,” Kat groaned as she sat up on the bumpy ‘ground.’ “Damn it. Umbra and his messed up teleportation. Still too groggy to fly. Well, at least the ground is somewhat soft.”
“Yeah, I wonder why,” she heard from under her.
Kat glanced down to see that the ‘ground’ she was sitting on, was in fact a young man. “Oh!” She levitated off of him, floating just above. “Oh, sorry about that. Here, let me help.” She put out a hand, indicating for him to take it.
He looked up at her, not being able to do so before with her sitting on him, and seemed to freeze for a moment. After said moment passed, he happily took her hand and allowed her to hoist him up, which was deftly easy for the Gravity Shifter.
“Thanks,” he commented once he was standing again and had dusted off his coat and vest.
“No problem,” Kat said with a smile. However, then she got a good look at him and a small blush started to appear on her face. Oh my god!, she thought to herself as she looked him over again. He is hot! Okay, Kat, don’t mess this up. Introductions are everything. She straightened her hair a little as she settled back down on the ground. “So...um, sorry about ramming into you.” Stupid, stupid, stupid! “Uh, my name is Kat. It’s nice to meet you.”
He seemed taken aback by her sudden apology. “No, it was I who hit you. They say distracted driving is the biggest killer of teens, but distracted flying seems just as dangerous,” he joked, laughing a little as he scratched the back of his head with one gloved hand. “Anyway, the name’s Michael Faraday.” Michael reached his other hand out for a handshake.
Kat grasped his hand in a firm shake...perhaps too firm as he winced in pain a moment later. “Oh, sorry! Sorry, I’m still getting used to my new strength.”
“It’s not a problem,” he said as he moved her hand to his face, kissing the innermost knuckles. Kat blushed even more, letting out a tiny giggle.
“Oh, a gentleman. Not many of those around here.”
“We’re an endangered species in any dimension, it seems.” He stood up straight again, looking her in the eye with a face that just screamed ‘I’m a Sexy Englishman’.
Kat shied away slightly, but stood tall nonetheless. “Oh quite,” she replied, putting on her faux English accent. “‘Tis quite a treat to meet one of your caliber, Mr. Faraday. Pray tell, what brings you to this field of battle?”
“Why, the prospect of earning honor for the Faraday name, of course!” He looked up and off to the side, striking a dramatic pose, before eyeing her from the corner of his eye and smirking. “And the beautiful scenery, might I say.”
Kat looked around them, looking confused. All around them was a wasteland, practically devoid of anything but rocks. “What scenery? Just a bunch of rocks and dust.”
“Why, the scenery that stands before me.” He made it slightly more obvious that he was staring at her.
It took her a few moments before it finally clicked as to what he meant. This realization sparked Kat’s blush to an even deeper red than before. “Um...I...um...oh…” Don’t faint, don’t faint, don’t faint. Whatever you do: don’t faint! Kat shyly looked back at him, noticing his pearly white smile. Oh, why does he have to be so hot? Kat tried to straighten herself, failing miserably. “I...um...I’m Kat Shifter, the Gravity Queen. A pleasure to make your acquaintance Mr. Faraday.”
“Royalty?” he asked, seemingly genuine surprise painted his face. “I apologize, your highness; if I had known, I would have brought gifts!” He looked around for a moment, patting himself where his pockets were sewn in. “Wait, I may have just the thing.” He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a thin, red rose. Upon closer inspection, the rose seemed to be made of some type of metal and painted over with acrylic paint. “For you,” he held the flower out delicately.
Kat took the flower and sniffed it gently. “It’s lovely. Thank you. So tell me, Michael, why are you here? This war isn’t for the faint of heart, after all,” she asked as she started to stroll around him. Partially for intimidation, while the other part was just to get a three-sixty view. “While you are truly handsome, you do not seem like one for battle. It would be unwise to stay here.”
“Well, if you must know, I am a contestant for this war. And, if I do say so myself, I believe I am the most powerful.” His smirk only grew in mirth as he said this, merely turning his head to watch her circle him. “And why are you here, Mrs. Shifter? One with such beauty as you should never have to face battle in the most general of terms!”
She smiled slightly, but for some reason her shyness had disappeared. “The strongest hmm? Well, now that I doubt, but you’re free to think as such. And that’s Ms. Shifter to you. I’m not married. Why am I here, you ask? Well, I’m here to help lead.”
At this, Michael seemed genuinely curious. “Lead what, exactly?” One of his eyebrows raised, showing his interest.
“To lead Auric to victory. I am many things, Mr. Faraday, but one of the greatest aspects of myself is that I am a general. General Shifter: ruthless, cunning, even divine, some said. Conqueror of the Dragon Empire, victor over the griffin armies, and massacrer of the changeling race. That is who I am.”
During Kat’s monologue, Michael had become eerily silent. When she glanced over to the man, she saw a dark look on his face.
“You say you’re here to lead Auric’s forces?” he asked, not moving in the slightest.
Kat stopped her walking right in front of him, her own face matching his expression. “Let me guess, you’re working for Teridax, aren’t you?”
“I apologize dearly, Ms. Shifter, but I must be going. Murder before the war even begins would be highlyunsportsmanlike of me, now wouldn’t it?” The man turned away from her, waiting for her response as he prepared his watch.
Kat simply watched as he waited silently. “You control time,” she said suddenly, making Michael freeze. “Don’t you?”
“What makes you say that, my dear?” There was something in his voice that indicated… something akin to an emotion much like fear.
“You feel like him.” Kat turned slightly, looking off into the distance. “Your aura, your presence. It’s almost as if the Doctor were standing right in front of me again.”
“You must have a keen eye to detect something such as that.” Monotone would be the best way to describe his voice, as if he were distancing himself from her, preparing himself for her imminent demise.
“I feel I should warn you. You can’t stop me.” She never even turned to look at him, content with just staring at the “scenery”. “Gravity. It’s a difficult force to master, but when one has, it opens up so many possibilities. A blessing...and a curse. It has been theorized that gravity affects many things in the universe, even time itself. Well, I can assure you, Mr. Faraday,” she slowly turned her head, her blood-red eyes glaring slightly at him, “those theories are true.”
“Well, we’ll just have to see, now won’t we?” He began walking straight ahead as he spoke. “Until next time, Kat Shifter, I wish you well.”
And he was gone.
Kat took a cautionary glance around, using her gravity sense to feel for any additional disturbances. After a moment, she confirmed he was gone and sighed. “Why is it always the good-looking ones who are the bad guys? And he was such a gentleman. Oh well, I’d best find where the recruits have set up camp.” Kat took flight from there, heading in the direction of a large white castle that loomed over the far landscape.
Halfway Between the Arena and the Hero’s Base
“Achoo!” Nicholas sneezed. “Wonder-” he sniffled “-what that’s all about.”
He then continued his way to the Hero’s base.
Neutral Territory…
Essence sipped her tea cheerily. So far, aside from being squished by a giant robot, all was well. That and her tea came out wonderfully.Then, something came bounding along in the distance. She squinted, unable to see that far even with her superb sight. The window, about the size of the wall itself, helped none at all. The shape came closer, and she saw what appeared to be a zergling. Shrugging it off, she went back to drinking her tea. Sensing it watching, she looked out the window.
“YOU’RE LATE FOR TEA, IDIOT!” she chucked a teacup at the zergling. Now, we won’t let it be said that in Umbra’s Universe there was never a finer throw. It arced through the air and landed perfectly on the zerglings head without a sound. It seemed to growl for a second, before retreating to a ‘safe’ distance. It seemed to be waiting for something.
She ignored the zergling and went back to sipping her.. tea? Well now it’s coffee.
“I need to get control of that,” she mumbled. About a minute passed before a huge goddess-damned worm erupted out of the ground a little way from the zergling.
“Well then,” she said. What looked like a male Broodmother came out of the worm, with a small honor guard. It started walking toward her. Rolling her eyes, Essence walked out of the small wooden fortress.
“Hello, how are you? Care for some tea? Oh wait it…” she looked into the cup again, “Goddess dang it. It’s coffee again.” The male Broodmother seemed startled, before continuing to walk, and said,
“Hello! I’m doing just fine. I was just coming to see my neighbor. Well, and to see which side you’re on. My name’s Dahaka, by the way.”
“Ah. You must not have seen the sign,” Essence gestured to the massive neon sign proudly displaying the words ‘Neutral Territory’. Dahaka then stopped and facepalmed.
“Well, that answers that question. Any way, yes, some tea would be nice.” He seemed to dismiss his guard, as they streamed back to the worm. Essence led him into the fortress. She grabbed a teacup and spun her finger over it. The cup filled with tea and she handed it to him.
“Here,” she said.
He took a sip and looked at her confused, “This is coffee.”
“Sorry, it likes to switch around. I blame the teacup,” she shrugged. Suddenly a small voice spoke up, “Hey!”
“Quiet down Chip, your mother owes me still.” Dahaka seemed startled, but conformed quickly.
“So, you do sl-” He seemed to think a moment, “Payment of debt b-” He seemed to shake his head before trying again. “Work debt?”
She giggled at the stutters. “Naw. His mother wants him to build character. Besides. They didn’t like their old job.” He seemed satisfied.
“What was their old job? If I may ask?”
“Old castle. Prince turned into beast. Prince died. You know. Alternate world stuff.” He waved his han- cl- appendage in a knowing manner.
“Yes, I do. The mere fact of our being here suggests that there is everything everywhere. But, does that mean that they are stuck as cups, tea pots, and utensils?”
“Yes and no. I let them switch. Although Chip here seems to be happy as a cup.”
The small voice spoke up again, “NO I’M NOT!”
“Do we want a repeat of Trelawny?” Essence asked. The little cup meeped and was quiet. “Anyway. They’re paid well.” He replied,
“The Greeks, or was it the Romans?”, He seemed to think a moment before shaking off his revery, “One of those two kept paid slaves, and if the slaves could save up enough money, they could buy their freedom. Not that I’m saying that their situation is similar to that, but It’s just a little fact about history.
“Indentured servitude? I believe that was Greeks. Romans were overly violent,” she answered, “that and Romans feared the ocean.” He seemed to get a little steamed at a thought that brought up.
“I don’t like the fact that they ‘improved’ the greek gods. I mean, look at poor Athena, she was reduced to a goddess of just weaving, essentially. Before, she was a goddess of wisdom, victory, AND weaving. And they glorified war by use of Mars Ultor.”
“Nike and Victoria are the victory goddesses. That aside, Jupiter’s a jerk. Have you met him? Goddess, he was rude. The Greek ones are so much nicer. Except Ares. He can be a little forceful,” she said, making multiple hand gestures. He seemed to wince. But with his face, it was anyone’s guess.
“I haven't, but I’ll keep that in mind. I suspect Ares would want to start with a eternal war between us. But one question, who’s this Goddess you keep referring to?”
She grinned, and her eyes twinkled. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I’m as nosy as a witch when it comes to things like that.”
Her smile seemed to shine, “Fair enough answer. You’ve already met her. I am Madness of the Void and the Musician.” He raised a metaphorical eyebrow.
“So, you're going on an ego trip by invoking your own name all the time? Well, each to their own. Also, you’ll have to tell me the story behind that sometime.”
She giggled. “Oh. I’m not invoking my name. I’m invoking my past self. I’m a fallen goddess by technicality.”
“Hmm, I’ll try not to make any Satan jokes about that. Also, now I’m particularly intrigued about your past. Could you tell me?”
“Even better. I can show you.” She hummed lightly before a shimmering image appeared.
The other void dwellers and Essence sat at a table wondering how to best stop the Merchant. Essence is the one called The Musician or, more commonly, Madness. The Scientist, The Trainer, The Cook, don’t ask why he’s here, The Magician, The Writer, The Historian, and several others sat around the table with an orb at the center, which glowed blue.
“So,” Scientist spoke up, “We know why we’re here… It seems our ‘friend’ the Merchant has decided to screw with, well, everything. His actions are starting to break certain important barriers between particular Worlds. From what we’ve gathered these are the main supporters of his cause, The Torturer, The Reaper, The Silent, The Ripper, and The Illusionist. The Illusionist happens to be a friend of Madness here, and has deigned to give us this information out of respect. She also agreed to play as a double agent. Any questions?”
“What’s our agenda?” asked The Trainer.
“Send someone to infiltrate the worlds.”
“But, the Fausticorn. She’ll stop them. She only let The Merchant through because he tricked her.”
“I spoke with her recently. It was a very distressing matter as she distrusts us at large. Letting her know our allegiance allows us to put a champion in.”
“Then who?”
“There is one obvious choice,” They all looked at me.
“Me?”
“You also have the titles, The Strategist and The Warrior, correct?”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m a good choice.”
They shook their heads. “You’re the only choice, seeing as though you are closer tied to Equestria.”
Essence groaned.
“Fine, but don’t cry to me when I fail.”
“Meeting adjourned.”
Dahaka waited a moment before asking, “So you came to a world, what happened after you came? If I may ask?”
“Lost all of my memories and shadow abilities. My memories came back when I accidently left the multiverse.”
“What about your powers? Don't you have them?”
“You mean these?” She waved a hand and the floor changed to diamond. Then she sang and the diamond returned to normal.
The wail of a guitar suddenly burst through the area with a VWORPLE.
“ROCK ME, AMADEUS!”
“Oh, hey Umbra. Come on in!”, Dahaka’s eye’s widened as this happened.
Sliding into view with a truly impressive guitar riff, Umbra spun to a stop in front of Essence. Crickets sounded as a tumbleweed floated past.
–
Somewhere
Gilgamesh frowned.
“Why do I feel like someone just stole my schtick?”
–
Essence claps. “Now. Umbra. Dahaka asked for a hamburger. Shall we?” Dahaka looked around warily, feeling something off for a second at the word hamburger. Then he relaxed and said,
“That would be nice. I actually haven't had a meal in... oh, about since I became a Zerg? Yes, that seems right.”
Umbra stared blankly at the both of them as reality began to twist and bend in ways unimaginable to the human mind. A song played in the background.
“You want….. a hamburger?”
The world shifts and Dahaka found himself to be a small boy. A woman hands him a hamburger. The hamburger screams and the woman turns into a hamburger. Dahaka asked for a hamburger. The world shifts upwards and the woman turns into a talking toilet which shoots out toilets which shoot out hamburgers. Dahaka asked for a hamburger. Once again reality shifts. A small boy takes a bite out of Dahaka the hamburger. Mayo tears slide down Dahaka’s face. The boy bites and his mother drops and turns into a chicken. Dahaka asked for a hamburger. The chicken says the word dinosaur over and over. Reality shatters. Dahaka asked for a hamburger. Reality tries to reassert itself. The small boy melts as though he were a clock in a Dali painting. He screams. The Hamburger asks for a Dahaka. Upon receiving it, the hamburger takes a bite as reality begins to blur between real and fictional.
“Okay, that’s enough trolling. We’re starting to corrupt the coding in this area. Oh gods I need to fix that now.”
Reality reasserts itself, the last few eternities dissipating like dust in the wind. Dahaka, Essence and Umbra are seated at a picnic table with trays of In n’ Out burgers. The bench immediately breaks because of how <fat> Dahaka’s shaped, but the thought’s still there.
“But it was just getting fun Umbra!” Essence whined.
Dahaka looks like his mind has shattered. A glazed look is on his face. His eye’s begin to change color for a moment, before the previous lacquer leaves his eyes. He shakes his head, and tries to forget the past eternity. It partially works.
“Alhmarka, isherto, hrart kootie giblet.” He says.
“Yes. And?” Essence asks. Dahaka pauses for a second, before adding,
“Add a partridge in a blender sings nicely.”
“So does a tree wrapped toilet paper with dig bick.” He shakes his head, and says,
“Ring around the rosy, jack went pop and the muffin man’s coming. And,” The same glow from before came over his eyes, and then receded.
“And, sanity has reasserted itself. Thank you Prime.”
“Damn.” Essence curses.
“And here I thought I’d have to manually reset everyone’s sanity after introducing the Cuil system. Oh well.”
“You should have known there would be no need to mess with mine. If I went sane who knows what kind of mediocre and baise things I’d do,” Essence shuddered. Dahaka ignored this, and reached for a hamburger.
“What, like start making sense?” Dahaka lifted the hamburger to his face. His mouth was barely large enough to get any in, but he still stuffed it in. The hamburger screamed before its tortured yowls were cut off as Dahaka consumed it. The Dahaka gets munched by a hamburger.
“Yes, I would start making sense. Not fun. I tried it once. Accidentally blew up a small planet, fixed it, the residents see me as their goddess now. Also happened to up their evolution too. But that aside, I think you missed a section Umbra…” Essence said, thinking about that mistake.The hamburger slowly sizzles in the ambient sanity.
“Whoops.”
VWORPLE
Dahaka just sat there, happily munching.
Between the Hero base and the arena…
Two gates of equal standing, one made of obsidian while the other was made of wood, a rarity in the desert, begun to rise out of the sands. Wisps of an unnatural flame could be seen coming off both, but where one was calming and almost brought a certain joy the other brought a slight feeling of fear and despair.
At once both gates opened, a few hundred yards away from each other. From one stepped out a woman with golden hair bright enough to almost be a light in the dark, a calm air about her as she kept her gaze directly towards the opposing gate, upon her mask was a consistent smile. From the other stepped out a man with hair so black it seemed indistinguishable in shape as it sucked in the light around it, his own mask looking as if to snarl while black tongues of fire licked at the hem of his clothes.
A And Z: The Other Letters are On Vacation
Freddy’s Protectors (Chaotic Neutral)
(Zero should avoid these two, for his own physical and mental safety)
As if compelled by some unheard command they both teleported directly in front of each other, one in a burst of black and the other a golden explosion. “Now be sure to behave alright?”Stated the woman, cheerfulness present in her voice as the man simply moved in a way that represented how one would roll their eyes, as he did not have any to roll.
“Just make sure to stay out of my way, your pathetic peacekeepers won’t be anything but a distraction.” His voice held an ever existent malice hidden behind a curtain of neutrality.
She seemed to laugh as she briefly turned towards her own gate, a thousand almost identical soldiers walking out as she returned her gaze, all clad in light golden armour as a large hammer was strapped across their backs. Each step seeming to tread the ground into place as grass could be seen seeping through the sand. “I didn’t realise we were competing, Z, we have the same goal for once after all.”
“Of course it’s a competition, though it’ll be hard to justify our killstreaks if no one remembers who they’ve killed.” A grim chuckle escaped his lips as he tilted his head slightly, not bothering with meaningless gestures as he simply shouted “REAPERS!”
A thousand more poured from the opposite gate, their heavy armour almost in tatters as they emanated malice and discontent. Scythes had been strapped to their backs and if one listened they could hear the sound of chains grinding against each other as fine teeth could be seen on the edge of their blades. Their presence seemed to drain the life out of the already lifeless landscape.
“Honestly, you couldn’t tone down a little on the…. evilness of your units?” A waved her hands about in the general direction of the Reapers, to which Z simply shrugged.
“The scythes are effective, the armours are protective, now if you’ll please get out of my way I can follow my directive.” He held up his fist, the back facing the reapers as they nodded as one and flowed into the ground as a puddle of black flames, each moving towards Z as they joined to his cape, lengthening it considerably as it spread out behind him. “Do try and keep up.”
A’s mask turned to a slight pout as she simply waved towards one of her commanding officers who nodded in turn as she turned to bark orders at her soldiers. In an almost imitation they replicated the actions of the Reapers, every single Peacekeeper falling into a golden flame as they moved to join with A’s dress that flowed along the sand.
“I doubt he’ll be happy to see us.” She stated simply, sighing as she looked across the landscape.
“Of course he won’t be happy to see you, me on the other hand,” His masked turned into a wide smirk as he looked towards the same direction, “Oh he’ll be simply furious.”
They both stood there, garments shifting in a non-existent wind as their opposing flames visibly moved in opposing directions, their gazes locked onto the distant horizon, in the direction of the villain camp beyond the arena.
Z however was brought out of his silence as he spotted a figure headed to the castle behind them, briefly looking over his features as the holes in his masks eyes seemed to ignite for an instant. “I do believe we’ve found an opponent.”
“So soon?” A moved her gaze as well, her eyes shining over for a split-second, “We can’t harm him since the war has not started, those’re the rules e-Z-mac.”
Z groaned as his eyeless gaze returned to A’s visage, “Another nickname? Why do you find them necessary?”
“Not necessary Led Zeppelin, just fun.” She gave a light laugh as the figure came closer, her expression cheery with a hint of cheekiness as per status quo. “Now, just quick hello’s then we get going alright?”
“What’s this? Travelers? Greetings!” came a voice from a little ways away.
“He seems… friendly?”
“Of course he’s friendly, he’s the kind to buy souvenirs for girls even when they have money. Anynoodle, hello!” A cheerfully waved towards the voice.
“Anynoodle? Who’s that? And how do you apparently know so much about me? I know nothing of you.” He approached; and, as he did so, the two got a better look at him.
He was wearing a long, brown trench coat with green highlights, along with black dress slacks and a black vest. His white shirt showed out from under the other garments and the goggles on his head shone with a brilliance only tempered glass can give.
“Well, I suppose we can trust anyone willing enough to sock it to a Princess, even if it wasn’t a very good hit. You may refer to me as Z.” He looked almost reluctant to talk to the person before him as his cape flared slightly, easily dodging the mans questions.
“Don’t mind him, he just realised he shouldn’t have worn a cape to the desert. I’m A by the way, pleasure to meetcha.” She held her hand out towards the man, the ever present smile on her mask backed up by her calm eyes as the flames on her own clothes calmed somewhat.
“Oh, I don’t mind at all. Not the first person to dislike me upon our meeting.” He reaches out, clasping her hand in his own before bringing it to his face and kissing the back of said hand. “I’m Nicholas. Call me Nick for short.” He the released her hand, letting his own fall to his side.
A flashed a smug grin in Z’s direction briefly before turning back to Nicholas. “Don’t mind if I do, if you like you can call me A for short as well.”
For his part Z just facepalmed while A smiled towards Nicholas calmly.
“Alright, A, also known as A, I’ll simply call you A, for simplicity’s sake. We don’t need to cause issues in the future with a name as long as yours,” he smirked knowingly.
She simply chuckled and tilted her head behind her in a slight gesture. “Headed that way I presume?” The castle in the distance behind them simply glimmered in the sunlight.
“What was your first clue?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. “The footsteps leading in that direction or the fact that you’re walking away from the place and we happened to run into each other like this?”
Z briefly tempered his gaze as he looked at Nicholas, moving it beyond him and towards the Villain camp in the distance. “You can handle this one, never liked manipulators.” His mask became a deepened frown as he simply walked past, avoiding eye contact as he headed to the camp.
On the other hand A only seemed to cheer up more. “Ooh, ooh, I pick C. No wait, this wasn’t multiple choice sorry. In which case….. what is ‘logical train of thought’?”
–
Announcer’s Booth
Umbra winced.
“Ooh! Sorry, but that answer is not correct!”
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT
–
“Darn!” A snapped her fingers as she silently cursed her bad luck. “Well to be honest it was because you seem to really want to help people, and considering the… grandeur of the castle back there I’d think that’s where the good chaps go.”
“‘Good chaps’? You say it like you’re not one.” Nicholas chuckles slightly. “I mean, you are on your way to the arena to fight, or, at least, to the enemy base... Right?”
“Guy in the sky? Do the buzzer thing again.”
–
Announcer’s Booth
“Heh heh, you got it, luv”
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT
–
“Cheers” She briefly gave the clouds a thumbs up before turning back to Nick. “So sorry there, but I’m on a strict ‘protect and serve if you really feel like it I guess’, kind of mission, and the guy I’m protecting is on that side.”
“D-does that mean I have to k-kill you?” He reels back a little.
“Aw, well you don’t have to if you don’t want to. But if you really feel like it…” The bottom half of her mask seemed to tear as rows of sharp teeth formed across the mouth, her eyes burning brilliantly as her hair seemed to disobey gravity while it caught fire. She spoke with what sounded to be hundreds of voices, all calm and almost warm-hearted. “You’re certainly welcome to take a shot.”
“I-I don’t really w-want to. Sorry?” He’s more confused than anything at this point. She almost seems like she wanted him to try.
In an instant she returned to normal, a calm smile once more etched into her mask. “That’s perfectly fine boyo! Hopefully I won’t have to kill anyone once the fighting begins, leave the murdering to the murderers and the burgers to the fry cooks I say!”
A faint ‘That has no relevance!’ could be heard in the direction of the camp.
“Oh, alright, then. Thank you. I didn’t want to kill just yet.” He takes a deep breath, returning to his calm self. “Anyway, it was a pleasure to meet you, A. I hope we never see each other on the field of battle.” He smiled as he stuck a hand out for her to shake.
She chuckled as she stepped towards him and gave him a high-five, “That’s assuming you can kill me, have fun following the yellow brick road!” A laughed as she stepped past him, her dress flashing briefly as a yellow brick path formed out beneath a flash of fire, headed straight towards the castle.
“O-okay, then…. Off to see the wizard, I guess.”
Nicholas then follows the aforementioned Yellow Brick Road.
–
Announcer’s Booth
“You’re off to see the Wizard~ The wonderful Wizard of Oz~”
Umbra bolted upright.
“FUCK! I hate that song!”
–
A calmly strides towards the Villain camp, squinting slightly as she all but whispered to herself. “Now that I know someone is watching, what will it take to stop you from telling any undesirables about me and my companions… apparel?” VWORPLE
Skreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-SLAM THUD
“What apparel?
-Umbra”
A quick roll of her eyes and a few steps later she began to talk again. “You know exactly what I mean. I’m referring to the… armies up our sleevies if you will.”
Vworple
“Oh…. eh. I don’t really do a lot of telling here. So…. just don’t ask me for stuff and I won’t tell anything to anyone.
-Umbra”
A small pout was present on her mask. “Aww, can’t I ask for just one itty-bitty thing?”
Bloop
“Okay. Just because you seem fun. And because everyone gets one.”
She scanned the sky, her eyes briefly shimmering as they came across the announcers booth far out of sight range, a smirk appearing on her mask once more. “We both know that’s not true now don’t we?” She chuckled slightly before going on her way again. “Could you increase the molecular attraction between sand particles ever so slightly in my general vicinity?”
Plop
“I’m almost afraid to ask why. But sure.”
Shsshshshshshshssshhh
She cheered as she jumped up, pushing down as she landed only to be pushed back in the air once more, laughing as she kept bouncing along until she sailed past Z, doing a flip and sticking her tongue out at him as she sailed right past his face; to which he only groaned slightly and trudged along, “Why would anyone encourage her?”
Vwwwwm
“Oh yeah. I forgot about what happens when I do that.”
Teridax stood up, stretched. The wait was helping him out, enough that Auric would actually have to pressure him when he finally arrived. Ah, he could wait a long, long time. The heart on his chest glowed a little brighter, and he tapped it. “Hush now. Everything is as it should be.”
He casually scried out the location of the hero base and snorted. “I would say that it’s fairly melodramatic, but that would be rather hypocritical. Shame that miss Kat’s there; would have liked to talk to her. Try and convince her that this war is nothing important.”
Another flicker of attention, on a being surrounded by the Laser Wasps of Umbra’s planet. “Ah, Nemesis. How very interesting. Yes… this is the perfect time for goodwill.”
With that, he stood up, and with nought but a thought teleported out, near Nemesis, where he was unsuccessfully holding his own. A simple thought, and the Laser Wasps backed off, and Teridax strode forwards, holding his arms at his sides to show that he brought no weapon. “Hello, Mr. Nemesis. How are you today?”
Nemesis brought his fist around to intercept an oncoming wasp, but only hit air as they quickly backed away from their target. Nemesis spun on the spot, coming face to face with what he could only describe as a robotic shadow.
“And just who the hell are you?” Nemesis, his head still pounding from the rush of battle, growled as his eye flared red.
Teridax smiled, already picking up on the psychic pressure of the T-virus. “I am Teridax. You may have heard of me. And don’t think about attacking me. Because if you do, I’ll push that rage of yours to the point that rage is all you’ll ever be… and I’ll throw you back into your own world.”
Skreeeeeeeeee-Slam!
Both jumped back as yet another capsule fell from orbit. This time, the capsule opened to reveal a human, this one thin and short, about five feet ten inches tall. As the unknown human stood, he opened his eyes and immediately his identity became known.
After all, who else would have eyes that exuded such raw power from their pitch black depths?
Umbra spoke, “Dammit Teridax! Meddling is my schtick over here! Do your stupid meddling some other time!”
“Umbra, I am willing to uphold the rules of this war. I swear, on my honour that I will not fight, harm or kill any of the other side until it has started. I am here to… talk. But my threat, Nemesis, is real. I am perfectly capable of that. I merely won’t do that until this war has started.”
“Teridax?” Nemesis’ words were twisted, a combination of his own voice and something else. He began to advance towards him. “Youuu...you were the one who…” Nemesis stopped when he remembered the threat, his grip tightening on his weapon as his footsteps halted. He shook for only a moment before he took a step back. “Fine. What are you here for, then?”
Teridax shapeshifted, into the form of Auric. And smiled. “Nemesis, I can feel in the back of your mind an incredible rage. It comes from the T-virus that permeates your veins.” He then shifted into the form of Celestia, who continued. “There is no normal way to defeat this virus, of course.” Another shift, and he was Twilight Sparkle. “Except for a genius like myself.” He then returned to his normal form. “Tell me, Nemesis, what would you give for the chance to be free of that rage forever?”
Nemesis suddenly burst out into laughter. ”So what, you’re saying you’re here to resolve my anger management issues?” Nemesis snorted. ”If what you’ve done so far is how you go about it, you’re a pretty shitty therapist.”
Umbra spoke up, “I don’t normally do thi– okay who am I kidding, I do this a lot, but I can get rid of that virus for free…. or if you’re willing to pay about fifteen bits I can give it a toggle and remove the rage. I think, Teriyaki, that I make better sales pitches. Y’know, being an interdimensional salesman and all.”
Teridax shrugged. “My product will not remove the virus in its entirety, but will grant you everything you want- no rage, no infection spread, all the benefits. And, I will ask you this- my price is simply to not get in my way when I fight Auric. Fight anyone else you want, but don’t get in my way or Auric’s. And one more thing.” He looked at Umbra pointedly. “I can’t read your mind, but I can make an educated guess. You’re associated with the merchant fellow who sent people like Nemesis here, aren’t you.”
Nemesis broke his glare at Teridax and shifted it to Umbra with a growl, as if expecting a reply.
He got one.
“The Merchant. Fucking asshole still needs a kick in the nuts. Keeps slipping away though. Never really have the time to go after him. Besides, who among us would honestly want to go back to living their powerless lives back on Earth after all of this? I wouldn’t. Anynoodle, yeah, I work with the same guild that The Merchant is in. ‘Cept he’s way down on the ‘Do Not Sell’ list and I’m near the top somehow.”
Teridax nodded. “In which case, I apologise for thinking you were associated with him. But my offer still stands, Nemesis. Either of our offers are good. And, as a show of good faith, I will have Mr. Umbra here verify that what I promise is true.” He pulled out a vial of silvery powder, and with a slight flourish handed it over to Umbra.
The humanised shadow shrugged and sniffed the vial, his eyes blinking twice in confusion.
“Well I’ll be…. usually you master manipulator types make stuff that’s actually just sugar water or something. But this stuff….. it’s actually damn good! It does exactly what he says it’d do!”
Teridax snorted. “Mr Umbra, you know that the Makuta are masters of Viruses that can create life. Compared to that, this was a cakewalk. And don’t hand it to me; I won’t have you accusing me of switching the vials or anything. Besides, I know that you were the kind of person who would check anyway, so making a fake solution is worthless.”
“This is true. Well Nemesis, it’s your choice now….. Hey….. what’s that sound?”
Nemesis pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. ”Umbra, I swear to God if you brought more of those things here…”
Umbra shifted back to normal, “No no, not that sound, a different sound…… sounds like……. a person…..”
From down below them, the noise continued to grow louder and louder. Then a large geiser of sand burst forth, shooting out a human boy in his late teens, falling to the ground in front of them. “Aw ha ha ha, that sucked!” he groaned, try to at least get up on his knees. “What the hell did I just do?”
“Given your appearance, Mr. Ben Tennyson, I would say that you’ve just tunnelled out of the ground.” Teridax remarked, dry as the wasteland surrounding them. The insects around him buzzed loudly, unsure of this person but he silenced them with a look.
“Wrong dude, I’m not Tennyson. He’s in his own universe,” Ben said as he finally got on his two feet and cracked his neck. “Aww~, it’s always the neck.”
“Oh. Hey Ben,” Umbra deadpanned, forming a small barrier around himself, Teridax, and Ben to shield their conversation.
“Wait…. eh. Nemesis can probs survive out there a while. So, what brings you out here to the middle of nowhere?”
“I don’t know,” he replied rubbing his sore neck. “I was just screwin’ around with my new powers and then ‘poof’, I’m flying through sand.” Ben looks at the other being with Umbra, raising an eyebrow at him. “And it seems I’ve come face-to-face with a nightmare come true. Makuta Teridax, I presume?”
Teridax bowed. “Yes, Mr. Ben, representative of the Greek gods. I am Teridax.”
“So you’re the jackass that’s the reason we’re all here.” Ben eyed him up and down before shrugging. “Eh, I’ve seen weirder.”
“I know.”
“I think at this point we’ve all seen weirder…….. like that one time I….. nope. Not telling that one. Bad enough to just experience it…”
“I meant more that he really isn’t that scary. Hell, the Daleks were scarier than you are.”
“Daleks aren’t scary at all. Weeping Angels though…. Terrifying bitches they are, though only when they’re starving. The rest of the time they’re pleasant girls…. a little morbid but pleasant all the same.”
Ben looked at Umbra very strangely, before pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing. “I really need to stop being around you people. You’re going to drive away what’s left of my sanity.” Ben frowned for a moment. “I don’t care what you think, Power, we’re not starting the war prematurely. And you shut up, Honor, this doesn’t involve you.”
Teridax nodded. “Until Auric appears, I’m not making any moves whatsoever, and neither will those who follow me.”
“Huh, a villain who honors the rules. Haven’t met one of those in a while. Sorry about talking to myself, the other guys are pretty vocal nowadays. And more than a few want to tear you to shreds just for shits and giggles.”
Teridax studied him for a few moments. “I obey the laws that Umbra has created because I know the consequences for breaking them would be terrible. Even then, I really don’t care about what you do, just as long as Auric’s here.”
“Well I’m only here because I promised I would be. Don’t really even have a stake in war, well save for the chance to finally meet my long lost sister.”
Teridax nodded. “I wish you luck in your endeavour. But a word of warning…” He shifted into the form of Umbra “get in between me and Auric and I’ll cut you down. He. Is. Mine.”
“Like I care,” Ben sneered back. “If it happens, it happens, get over yourself. You’re. Nothing. Special.”
Teridax shrugged. “Really. If you say so, Mr. Ben. You may find me more dangerous than you think. Until the war officially starts, though… I won’t do anything.”
“I eagerly await,” he replied sarcastically. “Go back to your little hide-away, you obsessed weirdo.” Ben made a sign of “shooing” with his hand. “Go on, get.”
Umbra suddenly jolted, “Whoo, okay….. that was a weird three centuries…… what did I miss while I was out of this body? … And why does Teridax look like me now?”
Teridax shifted back. “Me and Ben were having an enlightening conversation as to the current ceasefire. Now, hopefully we will leave with civility and respect.”
“Not likely,” Ben replied looking highly uninterested.
Teridax shrugged. “If you want incivility, then I am perfectly capable of that.” The insects buzzed angrily, responding to their masters’ will.
“Dammit. This is what happens when I get called away for three centuries and try to come back to the exact moment I left….”
Ben looked at Umbra, quiet for a moment, then asked, “Umbra? Do you still have that badge I gave you? The one that acts as my token?”
“Huh? Oh yeah, here it is,” Handing it over, Umbra cocked his head, “Why do you need it?”
“Because,” he said as he typed in a few commands. “I made a decision a while back, and I’m sticking it to it.” Ben tossed the badge back to Umbra, but the green had now become a dull grey.
“Eh?”
“I deactivated it.”
“No more calling on you then? Shame. Oh well, c’est la vie. Here, take this,” Tossing over an emerald green smart phone, Umbra continued, “It’s a personalized Token. Mine, to be exact. Just call me up whenever you feel like it. There’s a lot of stuff to do on it and it’s got infinite battery life, reception no matter where you are in the Multiverse, it’s almost indestructible, it’s got Wi-Fi everywhere, Flash Player, and it can project a screen and keyboard in case you want a laptop instead of a smart phone.”
He turned to Teridax, “No, you don’t get one. Not unless you prove yourself worthy of it.”
Teridax gave the impression of smiling. “I don’t plan on living long enough to really benefit from it anyway.”
Ben looked at the phone in his hand then to Umbra. “Thanks,” then he crushed it, “but no. I don’t want your token. Or anyone else’s.”
“Dammit, that was a custom! You coulda at least used it for the entertainment value! And the efficiency value. It’s great for getting work done.”
“I don’t care, I’ve already made my decision.”
“An’ I respect that…… Want a laptop?”
“No Umbra. Once this war is over, there is only one thing I want from you.”
“And that would be?”
“To leave me alone. When this is all done, I don’t want anything to do with the Displaced anymore. Certain people I will let keep my totem, but the rest will be permanently deactivated.”
“Okay, whew, I thought you were gonna say something a lot more upsetting. But yeah, that’s fine…… wait….. does that mean I can’t just hang out anymore? I mean, I’ve only seen your Universe once and that was just your room. I kinda wanted to explore a little. Not like you could stop me but I like to ask permission.”
“It’s partially for your own good. You are a wanted criminal in my Universe, after all.”
“Wait what. Why am I a criminal?”
“The Celestialsapiens, my bosses, hate your guts.”
“They are aware that I was the one that evolved their silly, star-patterned asses from space whales all those eons ago, right? Okay, some of that was my subordinates practicing, but I started the evolution. I mean….. they can’t stop me either as long as I have a good reason. And this District being what it is….. I’m allowed to see you guys as long as I don’t meddle too much.”
“They don’t like anyone who’s on par or more powerful than they are. So….thems the breaks. The other part is….I don’t really see you as a friend.”
“...Great time to change that viewpoint then….. I just noticed that we’ve been ignoring Teridax for a while….. Sorry about that.”
Teridax waved a hand. “Not really a problem. It’s good to see that there are some who are willing to disrespect a Sysadmin. They do know what you could do if you really felt like it?”
“Of course they know, but they are willing to use anything they can to get rid of the guy. SysAdmins are not welcome in a Universe that has Celestialsapiens. Never have been, never will be.”
“Bet I could do something about that…. Ah well, as always, c’est la vie. Not much point trying to keep me out when – Oh would you look at that, I’m already there. And always was. And will be. And won’t be. And every other permutation of the concept of presence. Because I exist in every point on my personal ball of infinite timelines simultaneously. So I’m everywhere. And nowhere. Fitting for a shadow, eh? There but not there. Interacting without interacting. Death likes his symbolism.”
Ben simply shook his head. “Look it’s nothing personal, but just stay out. I’m giving that message to all Displaced. They’re not welcome in my world anymore. Never really wanted them to be in first place.”
Umbra crossed his arms and narrowed his eyespots, “Quick tangent; there’s a stray thread on your collar and it’s been bugging me for the past few minutes. Kindly remove it, please.”
He rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers, destroying the small strand...and a mile of wasteland behind him. “Ehehehe…..oops.”
“It’s just wasteland. Nothing much there. Except….. yup. There goes my favorite tumbleweed bush. Damn. Now I need to replant it. Anyways, I’m still going to hang out every now and then, seeing as I’m not really a Displaced anymore. And because I think we’d be great friends. And to piss off those over-grown space-whale descendants. Feckin’ cunts, the majority of them. The adolescents are usually okay though. Some of them actually like me.”
“Not in mine. You are on the top of the Most Unwanted list. Sorry. And I’m sorry, but to me you are a Displaced and you are not welcome in my world. Not now, not ever.”
“‘Kay…. Then I’ll hang out with one of your Alternates. Some of them actually like me.”
“Fine by me. But I need a better commitment than that. Pinkie Promise to never come back to my universe again.”
“I, uh, I’m not allowed to make those because of how I mangle causality…. I preemptively break them before they’re made…..”
“Make it or I leave.”
“Well, it’s my head Pinkie’s going to be hunting…….. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my – OH GOD THAT STINGS,” Umbra grasped his frosting covered face, screaming in pain, “OH GOD WHY DID I ACTUALLY SHOVE A CUPCAKE IN MY EYE.”
“Because you’re not all there, Shadow. Unlike some of us.” Ben frowned again. “Not asking for your opinion, Hum. Or yours Superiority….oh shut up, the lot of you! Gah, why did Nexus have to leave me with these damn jerks?!”
“...Hypocrite,” Umbra suddenly froze, shivering violently, “And there it goes. I have now broken a Pinkie Promise for the five hundredth time. Seriously, why would you tell someone with near Omnipresence not to go somewhere!?”
“Because they’re not welcome. And good luck with that broken Pinkie Promise. Fair warning, my Pinkie is a big fan of bear traps.”
“Lord almighty. Good thing those don’t work on me.”
Teridax shook his head. “Enough. I would like to finish talking with Nemesis.”
The B.O.W. in question was standing just outside of the barrier Umbra had formed around the three of them. His back was to them and his arms were crossed as if he was in thought.
Teridax simply teleported outside and looked at Nemesis. “Well, Nemesis? Who do you choose?”
Nemesis shifted his gaze towards Teridax. He snorted. “Can I see that vial?”
Teridax teleported back in, grabbed the vial and teleported back, handing it over. “If you want, you can check with Umbra again, to ensure that I didn’t switch it.”
Nemesis held the vial between two fingers and raised it into the sky as he stared at it. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary.” He lowered his hand, and allowed the vial to rest in his palm. “Teridax…” He began, staring down at the vial.
Then he closed his fist, the vial cracking slightly. “You collaborated with my enemy in a world that was not yours. You prolonged the suffering of those who didn’t even deserve it for the sake of your own gain.” The vial cracked further. “You created a being designed to chase me down and kill me no matter where I went, and if that’s not enough it’s that on top of the other crimes you’ve committed against other Displaced around the multiverse.” The vial shattered completely, and the liquid ran down Nemesis’ knuckle. “I may be fucked up in the head, but I’m of sound mind enough to know right from wrong. And what you did? What you’ve done? It’s wrong.” Nemesis’ eye burned red. “You have your little lovers’ spat with Auric, I frankly don’t give a damn. Both he and you have made it clear that the fight is between you two, and if Auric wins,” Nemesis growled. “No, when he wins, because he will win, if he doesn’t kill you, you can bet your ass I’ll be there to finish the job. I’ll find a way to defeat this virus, Teridax, but it won’t be from you.”
Teridax looked at him. “It’s so rare to meet a man of your principles. I’m almost touched.” He looked at the liquid pooling on the ground. “It doesn’t matter in the long run. Whether or not you accept my gift, the outcome is still the same.” Teridax looked him in the eye. “If I win, I win. I’m the better man between me and Auric. If I lose, and Auric kills me, I’ve done something sensational. I’ve broken a man who is my equal. And if he can’t muster up the energy to kill me… I have ways of defying imprisonment.” He shook his head. “Do you really think Auric would allow you to kill me? You know him. He’s a man of principles, just like you and me.”
Nemesis snorted again. “Principles? Principles went out the window the moment you decided to work with someone who uses a virus that mutates innocents into weapons. As far as I’m concerned you’re a canniving bastard who doesn’t look out for anyone but themselves. If I have to wait to make sure you meet the ending you deserve, I can do that.”
Teridax nodded. “I would be lying if I said that I knew you wouldn’t take the deal, but I’m not that surprised either. These things happen, and I decided to take a risk. By the way, how did you find out about my involvement? I really shouldn’t have trusted anybody with my name at all, but then again, that’s business for you.”
“Princess Luna can be quite persuasive, especially when she’s interrogating high ranking members of Ellura who had an inkling of what went down between you and Inkwell.” Nemesis chuckled. “I suppose it helps when you can basically walk right into their minds as they sleep, too. They spoke about someone named Teridax who provided them with an improved virus formula, and provided them with what you named ‘Majora’. Kat Shifter filled me in on the rest.”
Teridax blinked. “Ah, Kat Shifter… the one obsessed with revenge. Yes, I met her. How was Majora, by the way? I rather liked Majora. One of my finest creations… it’s good to hear some feedback.” He sat down and looked at Nemesis intently, waiting for the blow-by-blow report.
(spoilers)
Nemesis crossed his arms, scowling a bit. “ Well, during an attack on one of Ellura’s facilities in Canterlot, I summoned Jack of Blades for some assistance. His… madness god was rather displeased about this and summoned something from the resident evil verse, William Birkin, to kill me. We managed to defeat it and after we parted ways I made my way back to Ponyville through the Everfree. That’s when I first met your little...creation. I don’t know how, but he had absorbed some of the G-virus from William Birkin’s body and was adapting to my attacks before they even hit him.”
Teridax actually seemed surprised. “Interesting. It really was supposed to adapt to your attacks when they hit it. Hm. Something to look into.” He waved a hand. “Continue.”
“The g-virus itself has some adaptive abilities, I suppose it simply compounded on his own.” Nemesis growled a bit. “I wasn’t sure what he was, and he proved… quite the challenge. I only managed to incapacitate him and had to run, if I had stayed and fought him I probably would have been killed.”
Teridax nodded. “Well, it was designed to be your perfect counter, after all. Only one weapon, and it would be difficult to defeat without outside assistance. I presume you managed to finally destroy Majora, but how on Earth did you do it?”
“Well, he followed me to another Displaced’s universe. Jason’s, not sure if you know who he is. Anyways, Jason turned into someone he called Ghostfreak and possessed Majora, disabling its adaptive capabilities. After that I shot and beat him until he stopped moving.” Nemesis’ eye burned red. “But he showed up again. He attacked me in the depths of the Ellura facility in Fillydelphia, but he was severely weakened. He absorbed biomatter from some of the other B.O.W.s and turned into...something else. I can only really describe it as a shadow, not unlike yourself. It was a difficult fight, but in the end I tore him in half and threw his remains into superheated chemical waste.” Nemesis finished with a nod. “Some of the ponies helped me, I think without their help he probably would have killed me, though at that point I don’t think he was very intelligent anymore. He seemed...primal. Savage, even.” Nemesis shuddered at the memory. “Not unlike myself when I…” Nemesis shut his eye and shook his head. “Nevermind.”
“When you gave in to that rage in the back of your mind?” Teridax stood up. “If I survive, I might have to work on ensuring the mental feedback doesn’t transmit that rage. Until then, Mr Nemesis, it was interesting to meet you.”
Nemesis flinched as Teridax finished his sentence for him, then turned to watch him as he stood. “I wish I could say likewise, but I’ll be much more interested when this war is over and you’re locked far, far away or rotting in the ground.” His eye burned red as he growled.
Teridax nodded. “Well, I think I’ll take my leave, Mr. Nemesis.” With that, he teleported out of existence. The laserwasps briefly wavered, then flew away from Nemesis, towards the villain base.
Nemesis remained for a minute longer, staring at the spot Teridax had been before he took a deep breath, feeling his rage die down again. He rubbed his head as he turned towards the barrier with Umbra and Ben in it and knocked on it. “You two gonna be in there all day?”
Ben nodded to Umbra to let down the shield, which fell a moment later. “Sorry ‘bout that. Personal chat. And...woah, you freaky boy.”
“That’s what I get for dressing up as a biological weapon of mass destruction at a con. And you’re the second guy I’ve seen with that thing on your wrist.”
“Oh, you must mean Jason. Yeah, he’s an okay guy, but I’m the true wielder of this thing. Name’s Ben, Ben 10X. And you are?”
Nemesis nodded. “Nemesis. Just Nemesis. I was just looking to take Umbra up on his offer, seeing as Teridax probably won’t be doing me favors anytime soon after our little chat.”
“So you’re taking up the offer, then? Good to hear,” Umbra rubbed his eyespots, “Man, I don’t know why, but I feel like I’ve been hopping timelines back and forth for years now…. Gods I’m so sleepy…” He slapped his head a few times before continuing, “Okay. I’m good. Let’s do this. You may feel a pinch…. or twelve thousand.”
“Can’t be any more painful than the time Jason zapped me with his alien watch. Just get it over with.”
“A’righty then…” Umbra snapped his fingers, and for a moment, Nemesis felt reality reworking itself as his vision swam and he experienced colors and sounds that were beyond even the wildest imagination.
Including the taste of purple. “Grape? That’s rather expected…”
Ben looked at Umbra with a cocked eyebrow. “Am I missing something here? Dufaq are you doing to the guy?”
“I’m fucking with his coding and his DNA. It’s hard work. If he’s seeing weird things, well, it’s not my fault. It’s his brain’s.”
“Umbra you are one weird ass shadow. But a cool one, I’ll admit.”
“The chief of tribe Tunhamanhake extends gratitude for the beans you gave him last night!” Nemesis shouted inexplicably. He was okay though. Probably.
“Was that babbling or was he serious?” Ben asked Umbra. “Hard to tell with all the shiz you do.”
“I’m pretty sure it was babbling, though I did give a guy named Tunhamanhake a can of beans a few millennia ago when he was starving in the Mojave Desert,” Umbra answered, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, “I checked in on him in secret a few years after…. he made a tribe.”
“Huh,” Ben commented. “Interesting. So, how long does this usually take?”
“Should be done soon. T-Virus really hates outside mutations that it didn’t purposefully start. Hard to work around without killing the host.”
When the deal with Nemesis was done, Teridax stood still for a moment, contemplating. He tapped the heart absent-mindedly. “He really should be here soon… I might actually have to delay my schedule a bit. Want a good way for him to be interested.”
“Who you talkin’ about buddy?” came a woman’s voice.
“The only intelligent person around here. Myself.” Teridax turned to the woman who was talking to him, already curious about the fact he couldn’t read her mind.
“Oh ho ho! Look out guys! We got a badass over here!” she said as a crowd seemed to say, “Oooo.”
Teridax watched her impassively. “I don’t think I have had the pleasure. You likely know who I am.”
“Teridax, King of Shadows, Rival of Auric Fulcrum, met him once by the way, and a Displaced,” she closed the book she had pulled from nowhere, “You might know of me, not quite sure, depends on who you know.”
Teridax simply nodded. “No, I don’t know who you are, but I can make a couple of guesses. You clearly have access to a pocket dimension of some sort, putting your average power at the level of Umbra. So it’s likely that you’re a Sysadmin, or at least a similar level of entity. But your name, I do not know.”
Essence nodded. “Similar to Umbra, yes. I don’t have need of a pocket dimension. I’m an entity similar to The Merchant. I’ve had multiple names but the one I use now is The Musician.”
“Interesting.” Teridax absently looked around. The scenery around him was much the same. “When is Auric going to come here? The rest of the war is of no consequence if he doesn’t show up.”
Essence shrugs. “I’ll do my best but no promises.”
Teridax nodded. “I’ll hold you to that.” With that, he teleported back to his base, thinking about that chance encounter.
Essence, in the meantime, disappeared. A loud whoop of joy escaped her as she landed in Umbra’s tricked out Announcer/DJ booth. A sound echoed from her landing. It was the same achievement sound that you get from a video game.
DUN DA DA DUN DUN DA DA!
Essence scoffed. She’d have to fix that later.
“Essence? Why the hell are you in my booth? I swear I locked that door.”
Umbra stood from where he was reclining and floated over to his cot, settling into another reclined position.
Essence put her hands together. “The answer to both is, I haven’t practiced teleporting, I wanted to land outside the door, and I met Teridax. He seems pissed at the delay. I said I’d do what I could.”
“I see. Well, there’s snacks in the fridge, and drinks. There’s a game center over in that corner, and don’t touch the mix table. That one is a custom build.”
As he spoke, Umbra pointed to the aforementioned corner– more of a large alcove, really– and to his custom built, super powerful, ultra-high performance mix table Mark XXXXII.
He liked to call it “The Bass Dropper 9000”.
Essence sniggered, “I don’t need a mix table, remember?”
“Yes, but still. Don’t touch it. One wrong move would destroy the planet from sonic backlash. I should probably tone down the speakers a little, now that I think about it.”
‘Oh, please, you and I both know how easily you could fix it. Either way, I wasn’t gonna touch it.” Essence held up her hands. She looked around before turning back to Umbra. “I’ll be back later.” She disappeared.
“Crazy-ass woman. Cute ears, though,” Umbra shook his head before turning back to what he had been doing.
Some would’ve been put off with seeing a woman jumping around in the desert with flames licking at her clothes, luckily for A, no one tends to wander around the desert. With a fair bit of surprise she somehow managed to fall on someone who was wandering around a desert wasteland.
“Fade damn it all,” came a voice from underneath her, “ Why do I always get landed on? I need to talk to Umbra about this BS.”
“Maybe it’s because you’re so doggang comfy!” She rolled backwards off from the voice that had come beneath her, stretching out onto the sand.
Essence sat up and started messing with her tail. After clearing it of sand, she looked over to A. “Hello, I guess.”
“BZZZT, wrong answer, care to take another try or would you like to use a lifeline?”
“Lifeline. Help. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”
“You’ve fallen!? Oh no, I’d love to help but I’m a bit busy making sand angels while I wait for the other guy.” A was actually making sand angels, her dress somehow remaining remarkably clean and her hair almost untouched.
“Cool. I’d love to make some but-” she started before being interrupted by a musical tune. “Oh. Guess I can.” Essence laid down in sand next to A. “Whee…”
Fifteen minutes later the both of them had gotten bored. Well, one of them did. “Okay I’m bored now.” A said rather abruptly, standing up and shaking her head slightly. Essence, on the other hand, had already been sitting up for a good seven minutes. “Ooh fluffy!”
OH DEAR GODDESS. She saw my tail… Essence thought, aloud.
“Yes she did!” A laughed and pounced onto the fluffy anomaly, arms outstretched as she practically willed herself to pet it. Essence dodged and ran off only for A to quickly pounce after her again, whiskers appearing on her mask as she curled up slightly “Lemme pet your tail kitty!”
“No! It’s sensitive!”
“You shan’t escape my grasp thou fluffy beast! Huzzah!” A twisted herself slightly as she landed, smirking as her deft turn enabled her to tackle Essence barely, pinning her onto her front as she tried to pet the tail with one hand, nuzzling against Essence’s cat ears as well “Victory is mine, now submit!”
At this moment another figure had come into view, immediately facepalming as he realised what was happening. “Oh dear Origin, A, you’re a moron.” Decidedly, it was at this moment Z had pledged never to work with the golden guardian of good again. “And why in Equus would you go along with her… whoever you are?”
Pushing A off of herself Essence looked up to him, A immediately returning to playing with her tail. “I'm Essence, The Musician, wielder of divinity, madness incarnate of the Void, reaper of tyrants, Bubble mistress, and The Last of the Influences. You are?"
“Currently I go by Z, eraser of the wicked and punisher of souls. And...” He groaned loudly as his attention turned to A who was trying to wrap herself in Essences tail. “I see you’ve met A. On behalf of my universe I apologise.”
“It’s not as bad as it looks, I guess.”
“Riiight. Sorry for intruding.” He calmly reached down and grabbed the back of A’s dress, the golden flames along it avoiding his touch as he started pulling her away. “I’ll be taking this one somewhere she won’t get in the way.”
“Um… It’s kinda my fault to be honest…”
“Really?” He dropped A, who was trying desperately to grab at the tail again, to the ground and pointed at her. “You’re saying this one-”
“That’s me by the way!”
“Didn’t try and grab at your tail?” His mask showed a look of casual disbelief and minor displeasure.
“I mucked up a teleport, she landed on me, we made sand angels, and she saw my tail. I usually hide it.”
“I… see… With a cautious lack of judgement I’ll be leaving then, oh and A? I will be reporting this.”
For her part A had been mucking around with a sock puppet of Z, imitating him as he talked.
Essence sneezed and an image floated away from her. “That’s new…”
“None of my business. A, no eating her because she’s fluffy. I’m instigating rule list three-thousand, nine-hundred and sixty eight.” With that he walked towards the villain camp, he had more important things to deal with than an idiot and an unaccomplished cat.
“Hey! I heard that.”
Z halted slightly, looking towards Essence out of the corner of his eye before sighing and continuing forward. “I’ll have to inform the Origin the firewall requires an update.”
“Um… That wouldn’t work… I have near same abilities as Umbra.”
“I know, and my weapons are made with those like you in mind so I’m sure a firewall capable of blocking Sysadmins and those ranking higher isn’t too out of the question.”
“Not a SysAdmin, nor higher.”
“It doesn’t matter what you are, go peeking around my thoughts again and you will be erased”
“Erase me, you erase over seventy trillion worlds. Probably more.”
“And? You make it sound as if I hold any care for those worlds. No, as far as I’m concerned you can do whatever you like, just keep it away from me.”
“Sometimes I peek by accident. And those worlds? They include yours.”
“Then you clearly don’t understand what I meant by erased. Let me indulge you. It involves every single line of code, every strand of your soul burning away while anything you had an effect on will have no memories of you, nothing to show you ever existed, and every single existence you’ve ever created will simply think of some other reason for their origin.”
“My code intertwines with so many worlds that it would cause around… 3 fourths of the multiverse to end. Do you really wish to create such havoc?”
“There’s a difference between wanting to create havoc and wanting to erase someone. But yes, I would still go through with it and I would also not be held accountable for the destruction of those worlds, as I have already stated, no one would know I killed you if no one remembers you.”
“... Need I say it? I’m connected to the entire Multiverse. Even a small amount would effect your world. And small can be big. Imagine. Music never existing. Science never existing, can you?”
Z simply chuckled as he faced away. “As I’ve said, you simply aren’t connected to our universe. Tell me, when did you make such connections? A billion years ago? A trillion? An infinitesimal amount of eons ago?”
“I said I was the Last Influence? I’m the first created. I was there when coding was made. Every code had me attached to it. I am part of the code. Each microscopic piece of code? I’m in it. Even custom coding.”
“Then I’ll give you a hint, look into my code and tell me what you see.”
Essence peered at him, meeting some resistance, bursting into flames for a mere second, before she looked down past the basic components. There it was. The smallest of connections but she didn’t mention it and due to it, the code ignored most of her actions. If she edited it, it would attack but otherwise…
As this was happening, A was trying to swat at Essence’s tail. “Myaa!”
The other two decided to ignore her. “Look at mine.”
“I cannot, I was made only to serve my purpose and the ability to view the code is unnecessary.”
“I’ll show you.”
Z shook his head. “I have no need to see. You sound like you have knowledge that gives you a higher standing thus I’ll submit for now, but I’m still asking you to keep out of my head.”
“I never said I would go inside your head again. I won’t go inside your head.”
He nodded, setting out towards the villain camp once more. “Very well, break your promise and you’ll never be trusted by another of my kind.” His steps were light even though his gait was huge, his back being the only thing visible as he kept walking away.
Essence looked after him, “If only he knew…”
“Knew what?” A’s head was suddenly next to Essence’s. “Knew that you have a hatred for the Bookseller… or was that the Merchant? The Monopoly man? Mer-people in general?.”
“Not quite. I do but this is a different secret.”
“Hmmm, then is it because your cody wodey is all wibbly wobbly, timey wimey?”
“Disturbingly accurate. Do you know what it means?”
“I do, but do YOU know what it means?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Good, because I barely have half of an idea as to what it means.”
The Hero Castle
With a flash of light a man landed in the entrance hall of the Hero Castle. He stood from his slightly crouched position. He raised his blade up and spoke.
“Here I am,” was all he said.
Auric Fulcrum: The Golden Sun, Leader of the Golden Dawn, Wielder of Eureka, The Golden Flames of Alchemy
The Good Guy
(Zero wouldn't be able to get in sight of this guy)
(He’d end up Blinded by the Light )
Auric stepped out of the entrance hall to look at the Hero Castle. He whistled. “Wow. You’ve outdone yourself Umbra…”
VWORPLE
Thank you
-Umbra
VWORPLE
Teridax glanced up, before his eyes glowed an extremely bright yellow. “He’s here…”
Auric, having been exploring the impressive castle, got cold chills. Someone had mentioned him, someone close enough to make him feel their power, and he had a fairly good idea who. "Hello Teri."
Teridax leant back. “Good to see you, Auric. I was slightly worried you weren’t going to make it.”
"So did I," he muttered. Auric still had no idea why his trip took quite so 'long'.
A cat-eared girl poked in her head, "My bad. Probably from my universe breaking apart." Her ears lay flat on her head, betraying her emotions.
Auric looked at the girl, to Teridax, and back to the girl. “What?”
Teridax gave the impression of raising an eyebrow. “Well now. This is interesting.” He chuckled a bit. “Well, Auric, I’ll be the better Makuta, and give you one day to get settled in. It’s the least I can do. Then… then you’ll be mine. Good day, Auric Fulcrum.” With that, he lapsed into silence.
“I appreciate that,” Auric nodded and entered the castle to call his forces and prepare.
Umbra checked another tally adding to an already massive amount counting up the number of nods from Auric. Essence, who had appeared out of nowhere, handed Umbra a cup of coffee or tea. Cups are still on the fritz for her. “Here. I’ll be back later.”
<Insert Umbra Response here>
Auric had just entered the main hall to find the catgirl from before lounging on a throne and a crown sloppily placed on her head. “How the?”
She lept from the throne. “Never did introduce myself properly, did I?” She curtsied. “I am The Musician. Number One rival of the Merchant himself.”
“I really wouldn’t say that in front of this lot,” Auric said, leaning slightly away from her.
Essence quirked, “They’ve lost family, yes? But they weren’t killed by The Merchant. My entire family, so many of my friends, and my entire universe were destroyed by him.”
Auric sighed, “I suppose most of them can’t say that.”
“Need help calling your forces?” she asked.
“Erm…” Auric realized he would either have to get her help or Umbra’s in order to not waste his power. Umbra leaned towards his side but the girl before him was a mystery. He might as well accept. After all, it was best to know potential allies or foes.
“I’m neither,” she stated simply looking him in the eyes. “I am the True Neutral of this War. Every war needs one.”
She can read my thoughts? Didn’t I put a block on those at one point? he pondered. “Alright call them.”
“Any preferred method?”
“Not really,” he said.
“Got it,” she said. Snapping her fingers, nothing changed. At least in the room.
“Should do it,” she said. “Go ahead and look outside. I’ll be taking my leave.” With the sound of ting, she vanished. A floating, 3D music note floated where she was.
When Auric looked outside he saw something shocking. A Golden Sun. Written on it were the words, “Auric’s here. Forces report to the castle.”
“How in?” he muttered.
Neutral Territory
Essence looked into the pool again. Peering out into the Multiverse, something caught her eye. A few people that could help and wouldn’t be resentful. With that she jumped into the pool.
The water rippled and she flew towards the first. A boy named Alexis. He was about to die by gunfire from a robber in a store. She landed, blasted him back with music, and pulled Alexis out of the world.
What Essence didn’t know about that world was that it was her old vacation spot. A group of people saw her on the news and for weeks praised the old deity they thought she was. The Musician.
After she had pulled him out, she landed in a Pocket Universe. She turned to Alexis.
“Sorry about that. I decided to save you. Largely because I felt I could use your help,” she said.
“My help?” asked the boy.
“Yes. I will tell you later. For now, pick five powers from this hat,” she held out a top hat.
“Alright,” he reached in and pulled out five pieces of paper.
Ambient Resource Constructs- If he's got the material he can make It.
Nobody Physiology- power to be entirely or partially nonexistent
Supernatural Voice- Speaking causes strange things to happen
Wing Blades- Wings made of extremely sharp metal
Mythical Realm Lordship- Presiding ruler of a 'mythical' realm
“Oh. Well, looks like I have to make you a mythical realm. The rest aren’t too hard,” with that she began humming and swirls of power surrounded Alexis. Wing blades sprouted from his back, his abilities and body changed, and she stopped. “There. Now go.”
With that she pushed him out of the pocket universe and off he went. Moments later she found the second and helped her.
Repeating the process a few more times, she returned through the pool.
<Umbra interjects or something>
Villain’s Camp
Teridax didn’t smile, but he gave the impression of smiling. “Brotherhood of Shadows, come to me."
South of the Villain Camp, approx eighteen miles out
A rippling, shuddering portal tore it’s way into existence with a howl of multicolored Void turbulence. Out launched a seemingly young woman who could’ve sworn that she was traveling with another person half a second ago. In an upward parabolic arc. At mach three. Directly North.
Umbra calculated that she’d smash face first into Zero’s crotch within the next three minutes, if everything went smoothly. If not, then Zero learning what Marshmallow Hell feels like is also a suitable result.
Kat Shifter; The Gravity Queen, General of Equestria, Goddess of Battle
The Fighter
(Well, it was nice knowing Zero while he was alive. Not.)
As she involuntarily flew through the atmosphere of Battle World 1, Kat noticed a dark, spooky forest directly below her. Unfortunately, her current trajectory carried her far beyond said forest and directly into the meeting of two beings who were decidedly not her allies.
In the case of one, the into applies more literally.
Back with Zero and Don
Don had begun looking over the list of equipment sent with the armory when he heard the sound of a large, organic object flying through the air.
It sounded a lot like any other object flying really, except there was a bit more screaming factoring into the dopplering sound.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT!”
At the sound of screaming, Zero took a step to the side and back as the Death Knights with him formed a wall of metal armor and swords between him and the flying object.
Not that it helped much.
Kat instinctively used her gravity abilities to increase her mass enough to plow through whatever objects in her way. Which she did. Straight into Zero. Who thankfully survived the initial blow.
“Ow, what the hell did I just hit and where is Umbra so I can hit him?” she groaned, sitting up on top of Zero.
Skreeeee-slam-crunch
“Dammit! Not another one! Don! Put your minions away!
Kat, sorry about the turbulence. I’m in the Hero’s Castle some……. fifty-ish miles East of here. Sorry.
-Umbra”
Zero simply looked up at her, groaning slightly as he responds "Not that I mind you on top of me, but if you don't move, I'll file sexual harassment charges."
Kat looked down, her face blank. She got off and stared down at the… thing below her. She lifted her hand and forced about thirty orgasms (G’s) onto him, pressing him further into the ground
Taking a glance at the knights now strewn about the place, Don walked over to the once human projectile. “Would you calm down woman? The war hasn’t even started and you already have rekt (wounded) one of the participants.”
Kat looked over at him, not very amused. “Sorry, but I don’t take to kindly to comments like those. Now, if you will excuse me, I have places to be, people to see and plans to crush the both of you,” she said pointing a finger at the two of them, “to make. Off I’ll be.” Kat began to take to the air, but stopped for a quick second. “You know, you chose the wrong side. You’ll all be destroyed in the end for joining him.”
Don laughed before looking up at the girl. “Are you saying you wouldn’t try to fuck (destroy) us anyway? I’m sure a hero like you could find some way of justifying ending our lives.”
Kat flew right up to his face, a snarl ever present. “Now you listen here, I don’t give a damn what you do on your Equestria. I rightly couldn’t care less, but when you help a ‘man’ who threatens not just his own, but every world in existence, that’s when I get mad.” She then gravity kicked Don right toward a nearby rock only for him to be caught by shadows springing up from the ground. “That’s your one and only warning, leave this war and go back to destroying your own worlds. Or you will be destroyed here.”
Zero simply chuckled and responds with "Wow, quite the temper on you. Though you might find us much harder to kill then you think."
Kat returned her attention to Zero, laying in the crater. “Yes, I am angry. You threaten my Flutters and I rip off your head. Simple as that. Now, see you on the battlefield, boys, or so you fear.” Kat flew high up from them and shot off in the direction of the Hero Castle.
"I can already think of a few ways to knock her down a few notches....(Mostly with a few rounds of angry sex)" Zero mumbles to himself as he sits up.
“So can I,” Don spoke as he walked back from where he had been sent flying “Though just from that alone I can tell this is going to be quite an interesting war.”
Somewhere West of the Arena, closer to the Arena than any of the Bases.
Right outside the entrance known as 2-B, a portal materialized as it had with so many others. This one was, unlike some, stable; ejaculating(ejected) only one being: A man with a pocket watch.
Michael Faraday; Lord of Time
Mr. Shitpunk Mc’Asshole
(Would go into bullet time, and kick Zero’s kidneys into his mouth.)
“Um… hello?” Michael took a look around, noticing the beef taco (barren room). “Is there someone out there?”
Skreeeeeee
Okay, seriously, what’s with all the packages? This is like the eleventh one! And, of course. Another note.
“Hello Michael. Welcome to Battle World 1. Teridax’s base is to the West from here. There’s a compass in the box. The Hero’s Castle is to the East, though I don’t recommend going there. Some of the heroes can ignore your abilities. Also, I can too. And I’m there.
The bowtie with the crystal? Well, more info on that when you actually put it on. It’ll be good for you.
Good luck~
–Umbra
(Don’t mess with me. Seriously. Don’t)”
“So, rule one: the Doctor lies.”
‘Shut the fuck up, you jackass,’ Michael said from inside my mind, ‘before I come out and smack you in the face.’
“Rule two: Don’t screw with this… Umbra chap.”
‘I think we got that from the note, why are you saying it out loud?’
“Rule three: Bowties are cool.”
‘Quit it with the Doctor Who crap! You know that-’ It was at this point that Michael pulled the bowtie out of the box-removing the tie he currently had on-and slung the new neck wear around his collar, tying it quickly with skilled hands.
A moment passed, both halves slightly confused at how the bowtie was supposed to help either of them. And then the most curious feeling happened.
VWORPLE
The Michael felt himself being torn out of Nicholas’ psyche and stuffed into the red half of the jewel on the bowtie, his form compressing into a ball of malevolently red energy that flung itself into the distance towards the Villain Camp.
Nicholas Faraday; The Other Lord of Time
NOT Mr. Shitpunk Mc’Asshole
(Could also kick Zero’s kidneys into his mouth.)
Nicholas, who was now the sole owner of his body, suddenly noted the presence of slightly more green in his attire, along with the gear shaped jewel on his bowtie suddenly becoming a whole emerald, instead of sharing its space with a ruby.
Skreeeeee-paff
“I apologize for the inconvenience, but now you’ve got complete control of your own body. Of course, to prevent the deaths of everyone on this planet, Michael has incredibly reduced abilities until the war properly begins. The Hero base is directly East from here, just follow the map in the envelope. Also, once the war starts, both of you can only use your full abilities in the Arena. So I don’t have to mop up more blood than I already have.
Good luck~
–Umbra”
‘What is it with Umbra and luck?’ Nicholas thought to Mic- oh wait… he then remembered exactly what had just happened and the implications hit him like a freight train.
“We’re all gonna die.”
At Neutral Territory
Essence looked into the pond and groaned. Why? Nothing much. Just that her friends she saved from the demise of her home aren’t in this universe. Otherwise, she’s fine.
Opening the door to the wooden fortress and walking down the steps, she stretched. All the crouching had made her body stressed.
Pop
“Sorry to give you such short notice, but…. INCOMING!
-Umbra
(Also, could you charge admission at the Arena when the War starts?)
“Sure, I guess and wait what-” she was smooshed by someone. “OOMPH!”
Ansem; Seeker of Darkness
One Heartless Motherfucker
(Night, night Zero.)
Essence, now partially smooshed into the ground, could hear Ansem above her conversing.
“I half expected to be alone,” Ansem said, raising his hand. Several pools of darkness formed around him, spawning a few Neo Shadows. “Go, find Teridax,” he ordered, sending the Heartless scurrying off. He looked down at his feet, noticing he had landed on something. “Hmm...whats this?”
“More like someone, buddy,” came a muffled voice. All that could be seen was an adorably fluffy tail.
“I’m amazed you are alive,” Ansem said, looking at the tail with some amusement.
“I survived the end of my world, and well, come from a council of... immortals? either way. I think I’m good. Now, could you, or whoever is sitting on me, please move? It’s uncomfortable,” her muffled voice responded.
“Nothing is over you,” Ansem said, tilting his head to the side.
“Then can you pull me out of the ground? I think your weird force or whatever smooshed me into it.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Cookies?”
“I don’t eat,” Ansem replied boredly.
“I hate you. UMBRA! Get me out of the dirt please.”
VWORPLE
“Better?”
“Thank you. Now,” she brushed the dirt out of her tail and off her ears. “Tea?”
VWORPLE
“Gah! Shit!”
Umbra fell to the ground, reeking of alcohol and poor decisions. And horrendously butchered English.
“Bah. wehre teh fcku am I?”
Drunkenly looking around, Umbra spotted Ansem and Essence standing a few feet away, all staring at him.
“Teh fcuk uyo tanw!?”
Suddenly a woman in her late fifties comes out of nowhere, grabs Umbra by the ear, and drags him away from the three.
“Mom! I was playing with my friends!! Why do you have to ruin everything?!”
Groaning, Essence shook her head, “Umbra, sheesh. Anyway. Somewhere in that direction is the Villain Camp. The opposite direction is the Hero’s Castle. Neutral Territory is manned by yours truly,” as she spoke her tail flicked in the directions she mentioned.
VWORPLE
“I’d like you all to ignore what just happened. That was not my mother. That was me creating constructs while pretending to be drunk and being drugged up for real. I apologize for the disturbance.”
VWORPLE
“Why do I doubt that?” she turned back to Ansem, “Feel free to roam. I recommend you stay away from the opposite side.” She turned around, making her way towards her base as Ansem looked at her.
Ansem sighed and headed Villain camps.
In the Void, Near Umbra’s Private Universe…
The dark figure, cloaked in reds so dark they were near black, watched his workings ensue. Not only had he created mass chaos but he had done it so deliciously!
The Merchant; Major Dick, The Scumsucking Bitchsack That’s Been Fucking With Other Universes Like a Pile of Shit, Umbra’s Number One Mark on His Shit List, Desire, Essence’s Rival, Destined to Get Kicked In The Balls Hard Enough To Make A Big Bang Three Times Over, Has Horrible Interest Rates, Five Hundred And Sixth on the List of ‘Best Merchants in the Void’ out of Five Hundred And Seven (Umbra is Number Seven), Real Name is Lucy, Freaking Long Ass Title List
The Meddling Asshole
(Zero wants to kick him in the nuts like the pussy ass bitch he is, but would still probably die)
Snickering, he watched the events slowly unfold until something made him destroy his popcorn. Shame, really; the popcorn didn’t do anything. In fact, it was delicious. The said event, the arrival of The Musician, made him realize that for one, his rival wasn’t dead; and two, his plan to destroy that world either failed or messed up as usual. Fuming, he stood up and called for The Reaper, a personal friend and ally of his who has major issues when dealing with living people, angry that he never told him of her continued existence.
The sub-deity popped in directly behind him. Screaming like a girl, then regaining his composure, The Merchant spoke up, “You never told me SHE still lived.”
The Reaper; The Gate Holder, The Merchant’s Reluctant Only Friend, Not Really an Asshole, Grim, Wants to be a Farmer, Terrible With Plants
The Bored One
(Could kill Zero but would turn him into a plant instead)
The Reaper shook his head, “Damn stereotypes. I am not Death related.”
The Merchant glared at him, “Incompetent fool.”
Reaper rolled his eyes. ‘Look at yourself.’ His demeanor spoke for itself. The man’s shoulders slumped slightly and he looked exhausted. Speaking up again, “I suppose you want something to be done?”
“Yes!” The Merchant said quickly.
Sighing, The Reaper dropped something out of a bag and into Umbra’s Private Universe. The objects hurtled downwards towards the Neutral Territory where The Musician sat drinking some tea. Aside from a thud, The Musician heard nothing.
The Merchant looked positively ecstatic. This would show her not to mess with him. Although, he still remembered the time she had forced him to eat his own underpants in a bet –he may have been tasting literal shit for a week– and could guess she might get out of it.
“OI! NARRATOR! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS DOUCHEBAG DOING OUTSIDE ME PRIVATE UNIVERSE? Oh hi, Reaper, what are you doing here?”
<Sorry Umbra. The trees made me do it. Just bear with me. I’ll let you kick him in the nuts in a moment.>
Reaper spoke up, “Nothing much. Just helping Lucy with his plots,” Reaper smirked at his pun. The Merchant just so happens to have some… clop in his pocket, I might add.
“WAIT WHAT. NARRATOR, TMI. T. M. I.”
Umbra’s left pocket bulged and images of anime girls, and disturbingly, Essence, shot out of his pocket.
<What was that? Umbra, no holding images of my character in explicit poses>
“... JSYRIN HELP ME KICK THIS OTHER NARRATOR’S ASS.”
^WISH GRANTED, MOTHERFUCKERS^
(Furious combat erupts between the two Narrators) (..... Hi. I’m The Backup Narrator)
“‘SUP?”
(As the fourth wall breaking and Narrator combat reached its deadly crescendo, I, the Backup Narrator, stealthily took over their position and brought the story from “Holy Shit What” to “Normal Chaos”. You’re welcome, dear reader.)
The Reaper turned about and left The Merchant at his viewing deck.
Umbra’s Pimped Out Announcer/ DJ Booth (It’s got a fucking mini-fridge! Holy shit!)
Umbra stepped away from the microphone he had been using to yell at the Narrators. Sighing, he collapsed into his swivelling, ultra-comfortable, reclining futon/chair.
“God DAMN! I don’t even…. fuck if I…… fuck fuckity fuck fuck fucking fucker fuck fuckshit fuckhole FUCKING FUCKSLUT MOTHER FUCKING WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FUCKING FUCKSHIT BULLSHIT WHAT THE FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”
And promptly flipped the fuck out.
“[Entire sentence deleted due to extreme expletive levels. Suffice to say, it lasted half an hour and went through every swear word in every language in the Multiverse. Without a single repeat.]”
Finally spent, Umbra collapsed even further into his chair and contemplated his next move for the next few seconds.
“I wonder what Reaper dropped….”
<*pokes in* Might wanna investigate, hm?>
“Quiet, you. I want the other Narrator.”
(Me?)
“Yes”
Leaping from his chair in an impressive display of aerial acrobatics, Umbra performed a few more moves and promptly disappeared in his trademarked flash of color and
VWORPLE
Miles away in Neutral Territory, Umbra appeared, not in his normal manner, but in a slight shifting of the shadows, stepping out of an unnoticed bit of darkness below a tree root.
“Blegh, what’s in those roots? Magic like that, makes me wanna be human again so I don’t have to taste it with my fucking brain.”
Nearby Essence was looking at a weird looking box. The box wobbled and opened, a small plant creature crawling out. On it’s back there was note saying, Sorry.
Essence raised an eyebrow. Why would they- She was cut off as the little plant creature turned into a five-story tall killer plant beast.
Umbra noticed this as well, mostly from the strange feel of the magic in the area.
“Aww, it’s adorable how they thought that could kill anyone in the War. Hell, even Zero could take it out with his new laser eye.”
As if on cue, a laser hit the beast which grunted and turned around.
“Wait, that isn’t Zero’s magic signature. What. Who else has a magic signature matching laser eyes!?”
Essence shrugged. “Dunno. Want me to take it out?”
“Um… Sure?”
Essence jumped sky high as the beast’s arm arced towards her. Spinning, she kicked it in the face and dropped down only to land on the creature's out-stretched leg. The beast tried to kick her into the air but she sneezed directly into the monster’s face, stunning it. Then she did something unexpected. She spat on it, and off it went. Soaring into the sky faster than the speed of sound before it exploded. She landed gracefully on the ground.
“......Well then. That’s that. Laters!”
VWORPLE
“Um…”
VWORPLE
“Almost forgot, here’s your uniform for later. Well, actually, you just need the hat and nametag. So, yeah. Nice digs ya got here. Very nature-y. Welp, laters!”
Tossing said hat and nametag at Essence, Umbra left again in another
VWORPLE
In the skies over the Villain’s Camp
‘Twas not all that uncommon to see random objects flying around in Battle World 1’s atmosphere, but an orb of malignant, red energy was usually unseen.
Unless the laser wasps were firing plasma bolts again. Then they were distressingly common.
This orb, however, encased the body of one Michael Faraday, currently with reduced powers, much more red in his outfit, and greatly reduced powers, on top of the previous power reduction. Oh, and a snazzy, gold bowtie with a gear-shaped ruby imbedded into the center.
‘The hell happened? One second he puts on that tie, the next I feel like I’m being ripped out of my own head! Well, technically it was Nick’s head, but that’s against the point!’
As Michael flew over the camp for Villains, he noticed something strange. He decided, on a whim, to investigate this anomaly.
‘Nick, you there?’ he called into the recesses of his mind. ‘What is this? Am I finally free of him? But, wait. If he’s gone, does that mean he’s gone forever? I know I always told him I wanted him gone, but now that he really is....’ In his contemplation, Michael was oblivious to the quickly approaching missile. When he did finally notice it, it was far too late.
“Shit!” he had time to shout out before they collided.
–
“......Ouch. That’s gotta sting.”
“Hey wait a minute, why is the camera over here!? Focus on Kat and Mikey, asshat!”
–
“Ow,” Kat groaned as she sat up on the bumpy ‘ground.’ “Damn it. Umbra and his messed up teleportation. Still too groggy to fly. Well, at least the ground is somewhat soft.”
“Yeah, I wonder why,” she heard from under her.
Kat glanced down to see that the ‘ground’ she was sitting on, was in fact a young man. “Oh!” She levitated off of him, floating just above. “Oh, sorry about that. Here, let me help.” She put out a hand, indicating for him to take it.
He looked up at her, not being able to do so before with her sitting on him, and seemed to freeze for a moment. After said moment passed, he happily took her hand and allowed her to hoist him up, which was deftly easy for the Gravity Shifter.
“Thanks,” he commented once he was standing again and had dusted off his coat and vest.
“No problem,” Kat said with a smile. However, then she got a good look at him and a small blush started to appear on her face. Oh my god!, she thought to herself as she looked him over again. He is hot! Okay, Kat, don’t mess this up. Introductions are everything. She straightened her hair a little as she settled back down on the ground. “So...um, sorry about ramming into you.” Stupid, stupid, stupid! “Uh, my name is Kat. It’s nice to meet you.”
He seemed taken aback by her sudden apology. “No, it was I who hit you. They say distracted driving is the biggest killer of teens, but distracted flying seems just as dangerous,” he joked, laughing a little as he scratched the back of his head with one gloved hand. “Anyway, the name’s Michael Faraday.” Michael reached his other hand out for a handshake.
Kat grasped his hand in a firm shake...perhaps too firm as he winced in pain a moment later. “Oh, sorry! Sorry, I’m still getting used to my new strength.”
“It’s not a problem,” he said as he moved her hand to his face, kissing the innermost knuckles. Kat blushed even more, letting out a tiny giggle.
“Oh, a gentleman. Not many of those around here.”
“We’re an endangered species in any dimension, it seems.” He stood up straight again, looking her in the eye with a face that just screamed ‘I’m a Sexy Englishman’.
Kat shied away slightly, but stood tall nonetheless. “Oh quite,” she replied, putting on her faux English accent. “‘Tis quite a treat to meet one of your caliber, Mr. Faraday. Pray tell, what brings you to this field of battle?”
“Why, the prospect of earning honor for the Faraday name, of course!” He looked up and off to the side, striking a dramatic pose, before eyeing her from the corner of his eye and smirking. “And the beautiful scenery, might I say.”
Kat looked around them, looking confused. All around them was a wasteland, practically devoid of anything but rocks. “What scenery? Just a bunch of rocks and dust.”
“Why, the scenery that stands before me.” He made it slightly more obvious that he was staring at her.
It took her a few moments before it finally clicked as to what he meant. This realization sparked Kat’s blush to an even deeper red than before. “Um...I...um...oh…” Don’t faint, don’t faint, don’t faint. Whatever you do: don’t faint! Kat shyly looked back at him, noticing his pearly white smile. Oh, why does he have to be so hot? Kat tried to straighten herself, failing miserably. “I...um...I’m Kat Shifter, the Gravity Queen. A pleasure to make your acquaintance Mr. Faraday.”
“Royalty?” he asked, seemingly genuine surprise painted his face. “I apologize, your highness; if I had known, I would have brought gifts!” He looked around for a moment, patting himself where his pockets were sewn in. “Wait, I may have just the thing.” He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a thin, red rose. Upon closer inspection, the rose seemed to be made of some type of metal and painted over with acrylic paint. “For you,” he held the flower out delicately.
Kat took the flower and sniffed it gently. “It’s lovely. Thank you. So tell me, Michael, why are you here? This war isn’t for the faint of heart, after all,” she asked as she started to stroll around him. Partially for intimidation, while the other part was just to get a three-sixty view. “While you are truly handsome, you do not seem like one for battle. It would be unwise to stay here.”
“Well, if you must know, I am a contestant for this war. And, if I do say so myself, I believe I am the most powerful.” His smirk only grew in mirth as he said this, merely turning his head to watch her circle him. “And why are you here, Mrs. Shifter? One with such beauty as you should never have to face battle in the most general of terms!”
She smiled slightly, but for some reason her shyness had disappeared. “The strongest hmm? Well, now that I doubt, but you’re free to think as such. And that’s Ms. Shifter to you. I’m not married. Why am I here, you ask? Well, I’m here to help lead.”
At this, Michael seemed genuinely curious. “Lead what, exactly?” One of his eyebrows raised, showing his interest.
“To lead Auric to victory. I am many things, Mr. Faraday, but one of the greatest aspects of myself is that I am a general. General Shifter: ruthless, cunning, even divine, some said. Conqueror of the Dragon Empire, victor over the griffin armies, and massacrer of the changeling race. That is who I am.”
During Kat’s monologue, Michael had become eerily silent. When she glanced over to the man, she saw a dark look on his face.
“You say you’re here to lead Auric’s forces?” he asked, not moving in the slightest.
Kat stopped her walking right in front of him, her own face matching his expression. “Let me guess, you’re working for Teridax, aren’t you?”
“I apologize dearly, Ms. Shifter, but I must be going. Murder before the war even begins would be highlyunsportsmanlike of me, now wouldn’t it?” The man turned away from her, waiting for her response as he prepared his watch.
Kat simply watched as he waited silently. “You control time,” she said suddenly, making Michael freeze. “Don’t you?”
“What makes you say that, my dear?” There was something in his voice that indicated… something akin to an emotion much like fear.
“You feel like him.” Kat turned slightly, looking off into the distance. “Your aura, your presence. It’s almost as if the Doctor were standing right in front of me again.”
“You must have a keen eye to detect something such as that.” Monotone would be the best way to describe his voice, as if he were distancing himself from her, preparing himself for her imminent demise.
“I feel I should warn you. You can’t stop me.” She never even turned to look at him, content with just staring at the “scenery”. “Gravity. It’s a difficult force to master, but when one has, it opens up so many possibilities. A blessing...and a curse. It has been theorized that gravity affects many things in the universe, even time itself. Well, I can assure you, Mr. Faraday,” she slowly turned her head, her blood-red eyes glaring slightly at him, “those theories are true.”
“Well, we’ll just have to see, now won’t we?” He began walking straight ahead as he spoke. “Until next time, Kat Shifter, I wish you well.”
And he was gone.
Kat took a cautionary glance around, using her gravity sense to feel for any additional disturbances. After a moment, she confirmed he was gone and sighed. “Why is it always the good-looking ones who are the bad guys? And he was such a gentleman. Oh well, I’d best find where the recruits have set up camp.” Kat took flight from there, heading in the direction of a large white castle that loomed over the far landscape.
Halfway Between the Arena and the Hero’s Base
“Achoo!” Nicholas sneezed. “Wonder-” he sniffled “-what that’s all about.”
He then continued his way to the Hero’s base.
Neutral Territory…
Essence sipped her tea cheerily. So far, aside from being squished by a giant robot, all was well. That and her tea came out wonderfully.Then, something came bounding along in the distance. She squinted, unable to see that far even with her superb sight. The window, about the size of the wall itself, helped none at all. The shape came closer, and she saw what appeared to be a zergling. Shrugging it off, she went back to drinking her tea. Sensing it watching, she looked out the window.
“YOU’RE LATE FOR TEA, IDIOT!” she chucked a teacup at the zergling. Now, we won’t let it be said that in Umbra’s Universe there was never a finer throw. It arced through the air and landed perfectly on the zerglings head without a sound. It seemed to growl for a second, before retreating to a ‘safe’ distance. It seemed to be waiting for something.
She ignored the zergling and went back to sipping her.. tea? Well now it’s coffee.
“I need to get control of that,” she mumbled. About a minute passed before a huge goddess-damned worm erupted out of the ground a little way from the zergling.
“Well then,” she said. What looked like a male Broodmother came out of the worm, with a small honor guard. It started walking toward her. Rolling her eyes, Essence walked out of the small wooden fortress.
“Hello, how are you? Care for some tea? Oh wait it…” she looked into the cup again, “Goddess dang it. It’s coffee again.” The male Broodmother seemed startled, before continuing to walk, and said,
“Hello! I’m doing just fine. I was just coming to see my neighbor. Well, and to see which side you’re on. My name’s Dahaka, by the way.”
“Ah. You must not have seen the sign,” Essence gestured to the massive neon sign proudly displaying the words ‘Neutral Territory’. Dahaka then stopped and facepalmed.
“Well, that answers that question. Any way, yes, some tea would be nice.” He seemed to dismiss his guard, as they streamed back to the worm. Essence led him into the fortress. She grabbed a teacup and spun her finger over it. The cup filled with tea and she handed it to him.
“Here,” she said.
He took a sip and looked at her confused, “This is coffee.”
“Sorry, it likes to switch around. I blame the teacup,” she shrugged. Suddenly a small voice spoke up, “Hey!”
“Quiet down Chip, your mother owes me still.” Dahaka seemed startled, but conformed quickly.
“So, you do sl-” He seemed to think a moment, “Payment of debt b-” He seemed to shake his head before trying again. “Work debt?”
She giggled at the stutters. “Naw. His mother wants him to build character. Besides. They didn’t like their old job.” He seemed satisfied.
“What was their old job? If I may ask?”
“Old castle. Prince turned into beast. Prince died. You know. Alternate world stuff.” He waved his han- cl- appendage in a knowing manner.
“Yes, I do. The mere fact of our being here suggests that there is everything everywhere. But, does that mean that they are stuck as cups, tea pots, and utensils?”
“Yes and no. I let them switch. Although Chip here seems to be happy as a cup.”
The small voice spoke up again, “NO I’M NOT!”
“Do we want a repeat of Trelawny?” Essence asked. The little cup meeped and was quiet. “Anyway. They’re paid well.” He replied,
“The Greeks, or was it the Romans?”, He seemed to think a moment before shaking off his revery, “One of those two kept paid slaves, and if the slaves could save up enough money, they could buy their freedom. Not that I’m saying that their situation is similar to that, but It’s just a little fact about history.
“Indentured servitude? I believe that was Greeks. Romans were overly violent,” she answered, “that and Romans feared the ocean.” He seemed to get a little steamed at a thought that brought up.
“I don’t like the fact that they ‘improved’ the greek gods. I mean, look at poor Athena, she was reduced to a goddess of just weaving, essentially. Before, she was a goddess of wisdom, victory, AND weaving. And they glorified war by use of Mars Ultor.”
“Nike and Victoria are the victory goddesses. That aside, Jupiter’s a jerk. Have you met him? Goddess, he was rude. The Greek ones are so much nicer. Except Ares. He can be a little forceful,” she said, making multiple hand gestures. He seemed to wince. But with his face, it was anyone’s guess.
“I haven't, but I’ll keep that in mind. I suspect Ares would want to start with a eternal war between us. But one question, who’s this Goddess you keep referring to?”
She grinned, and her eyes twinkled. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I’m as nosy as a witch when it comes to things like that.”
Her smile seemed to shine, “Fair enough answer. You’ve already met her. I am Madness of the Void and the Musician.” He raised a metaphorical eyebrow.
“So, you're going on an ego trip by invoking your own name all the time? Well, each to their own. Also, you’ll have to tell me the story behind that sometime.”
She giggled. “Oh. I’m not invoking my name. I’m invoking my past self. I’m a fallen goddess by technicality.”
“Hmm, I’ll try not to make any Satan jokes about that. Also, now I’m particularly intrigued about your past. Could you tell me?”
“Even better. I can show you.” She hummed lightly before a shimmering image appeared.
The other void dwellers and Essence sat at a table wondering how to best stop the Merchant. Essence is the one called The Musician or, more commonly, Madness. The Scientist, The Trainer, The Cook, don’t ask why he’s here, The Magician, The Writer, The Historian, and several others sat around the table with an orb at the center, which glowed blue.
“So,” Scientist spoke up, “We know why we’re here… It seems our ‘friend’ the Merchant has decided to screw with, well, everything. His actions are starting to break certain important barriers between particular Worlds. From what we’ve gathered these are the main supporters of his cause, The Torturer, The Reaper, The Silent, The Ripper, and The Illusionist. The Illusionist happens to be a friend of Madness here, and has deigned to give us this information out of respect. She also agreed to play as a double agent. Any questions?”
“What’s our agenda?” asked The Trainer.
“Send someone to infiltrate the worlds.”
“But, the Fausticorn. She’ll stop them. She only let The Merchant through because he tricked her.”
“I spoke with her recently. It was a very distressing matter as she distrusts us at large. Letting her know our allegiance allows us to put a champion in.”
“Then who?”
“There is one obvious choice,” They all looked at me.
“Me?”
“You also have the titles, The Strategist and The Warrior, correct?”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m a good choice.”
They shook their heads. “You’re the only choice, seeing as though you are closer tied to Equestria.”
Essence groaned.
“Fine, but don’t cry to me when I fail.”
“Meeting adjourned.”
Dahaka waited a moment before asking, “So you came to a world, what happened after you came? If I may ask?”
“Lost all of my memories and shadow abilities. My memories came back when I accidently left the multiverse.”
“What about your powers? Don't you have them?”
“You mean these?” She waved a hand and the floor changed to diamond. Then she sang and the diamond returned to normal.
The wail of a guitar suddenly burst through the area with a VWORPLE.
“ROCK ME, AMADEUS!”
“Oh, hey Umbra. Come on in!”, Dahaka’s eye’s widened as this happened.
Sliding into view with a truly impressive guitar riff, Umbra spun to a stop in front of Essence. Crickets sounded as a tumbleweed floated past.
–
Somewhere
Gilgamesh frowned.
“Why do I feel like someone just stole my schtick?”
–
Essence claps. “Now. Umbra. Dahaka asked for a hamburger. Shall we?” Dahaka looked around warily, feeling something off for a second at the word hamburger. Then he relaxed and said,
“That would be nice. I actually haven't had a meal in... oh, about since I became a Zerg? Yes, that seems right.”
Umbra stared blankly at the both of them as reality began to twist and bend in ways unimaginable to the human mind. A song played in the background.
“You want….. a hamburger?”
The world shifts and Dahaka found himself to be a small boy. A woman hands him a hamburger. The hamburger screams and the woman turns into a hamburger. Dahaka asked for a hamburger. The world shifts upwards and the woman turns into a talking toilet which shoots out toilets which shoot out hamburgers. Dahaka asked for a hamburger. Once again reality shifts. A small boy takes a bite out of Dahaka the hamburger. Mayo tears slide down Dahaka’s face. The boy bites and his mother drops and turns into a chicken. Dahaka asked for a hamburger. The chicken says the word dinosaur over and over. Reality shatters. Dahaka asked for a hamburger. Reality tries to reassert itself. The small boy melts as though he were a clock in a Dali painting. He screams. The Hamburger asks for a Dahaka. Upon receiving it, the hamburger takes a bite as reality begins to blur between real and fictional.
“Okay, that’s enough trolling. We’re starting to corrupt the coding in this area. Oh gods I need to fix that now.”
Reality reasserts itself, the last few eternities dissipating like dust in the wind. Dahaka, Essence and Umbra are seated at a picnic table with trays of In n’ Out burgers. The bench immediately breaks because of how <fat> Dahaka’s shaped, but the thought’s still there.
“But it was just getting fun Umbra!” Essence whined.
Dahaka looks like his mind has shattered. A glazed look is on his face. His eye’s begin to change color for a moment, before the previous lacquer leaves his eyes. He shakes his head, and tries to forget the past eternity. It partially works.
“Alhmarka, isherto, hrart kootie giblet.” He says.
“Yes. And?” Essence asks. Dahaka pauses for a second, before adding,
“Add a partridge in a blender sings nicely.”
“So does a tree wrapped toilet paper with dig bick.” He shakes his head, and says,
“Ring around the rosy, jack went pop and the muffin man’s coming. And,” The same glow from before came over his eyes, and then receded.
“And, sanity has reasserted itself. Thank you Prime.”
“Damn.” Essence curses.
“And here I thought I’d have to manually reset everyone’s sanity after introducing the Cuil system. Oh well.”
“You should have known there would be no need to mess with mine. If I went sane who knows what kind of mediocre and baise things I’d do,” Essence shuddered. Dahaka ignored this, and reached for a hamburger.
“What, like start making sense?” Dahaka lifted the hamburger to his face. His mouth was barely large enough to get any in, but he still stuffed it in. The hamburger screamed before its tortured yowls were cut off as Dahaka consumed it. The Dahaka gets munched by a hamburger.
“Yes, I would start making sense. Not fun. I tried it once. Accidentally blew up a small planet, fixed it, the residents see me as their goddess now. Also happened to up their evolution too. But that aside, I think you missed a section Umbra…” Essence said, thinking about that mistake.The hamburger slowly sizzles in the ambient sanity.
“Whoops.”
VWORPLE
Dahaka just sat there, happily munching.
Between the Hero base and the arena…
Two gates of equal standing, one made of obsidian while the other was made of wood, a rarity in the desert, begun to rise out of the sands. Wisps of an unnatural flame could be seen coming off both, but where one was calming and almost brought a certain joy the other brought a slight feeling of fear and despair.
At once both gates opened, a few hundred yards away from each other. From one stepped out a woman with golden hair bright enough to almost be a light in the dark, a calm air about her as she kept her gaze directly towards the opposing gate, upon her mask was a consistent smile. From the other stepped out a man with hair so black it seemed indistinguishable in shape as it sucked in the light around it, his own mask looking as if to snarl while black tongues of fire licked at the hem of his clothes.
A And Z: The Other Letters are On Vacation
Freddy’s Protectors (Chaotic Neutral)
(Zero should avoid these two, for his own physical and mental safety)
As if compelled by some unheard command they both teleported directly in front of each other, one in a burst of black and the other a golden explosion. “Now be sure to behave alright?”Stated the woman, cheerfulness present in her voice as the man simply moved in a way that represented how one would roll their eyes, as he did not have any to roll.
“Just make sure to stay out of my way, your pathetic peacekeepers won’t be anything but a distraction.” His voice held an ever existent malice hidden behind a curtain of neutrality.
She seemed to laugh as she briefly turned towards her own gate, a thousand almost identical soldiers walking out as she returned her gaze, all clad in light golden armour as a large hammer was strapped across their backs. Each step seeming to tread the ground into place as grass could be seen seeping through the sand. “I didn’t realise we were competing, Z, we have the same goal for once after all.”
“Of course it’s a competition, though it’ll be hard to justify our killstreaks if no one remembers who they’ve killed.” A grim chuckle escaped his lips as he tilted his head slightly, not bothering with meaningless gestures as he simply shouted “REAPERS!”
A thousand more poured from the opposite gate, their heavy armour almost in tatters as they emanated malice and discontent. Scythes had been strapped to their backs and if one listened they could hear the sound of chains grinding against each other as fine teeth could be seen on the edge of their blades. Their presence seemed to drain the life out of the already lifeless landscape.
“Honestly, you couldn’t tone down a little on the…. evilness of your units?” A waved her hands about in the general direction of the Reapers, to which Z simply shrugged.
“The scythes are effective, the armours are protective, now if you’ll please get out of my way I can follow my directive.” He held up his fist, the back facing the reapers as they nodded as one and flowed into the ground as a puddle of black flames, each moving towards Z as they joined to his cape, lengthening it considerably as it spread out behind him. “Do try and keep up.”
A’s mask turned to a slight pout as she simply waved towards one of her commanding officers who nodded in turn as she turned to bark orders at her soldiers. In an almost imitation they replicated the actions of the Reapers, every single Peacekeeper falling into a golden flame as they moved to join with A’s dress that flowed along the sand.
“I doubt he’ll be happy to see us.” She stated simply, sighing as she looked across the landscape.
“Of course he won’t be happy to see you, me on the other hand,” His masked turned into a wide smirk as he looked towards the same direction, “Oh he’ll be simply furious.”
They both stood there, garments shifting in a non-existent wind as their opposing flames visibly moved in opposing directions, their gazes locked onto the distant horizon, in the direction of the villain camp beyond the arena.
Z however was brought out of his silence as he spotted a figure headed to the castle behind them, briefly looking over his features as the holes in his masks eyes seemed to ignite for an instant. “I do believe we’ve found an opponent.”
“So soon?” A moved her gaze as well, her eyes shining over for a split-second, “We can’t harm him since the war has not started, those’re the rules e-Z-mac.”
Z groaned as his eyeless gaze returned to A’s visage, “Another nickname? Why do you find them necessary?”
“Not necessary Led Zeppelin, just fun.” She gave a light laugh as the figure came closer, her expression cheery with a hint of cheekiness as per status quo. “Now, just quick hello’s then we get going alright?”
“What’s this? Travelers? Greetings!” came a voice from a little ways away.
“He seems… friendly?”
“Of course he’s friendly, he’s the kind to buy souvenirs for girls even when they have money. Anynoodle, hello!” A cheerfully waved towards the voice.
“Anynoodle? Who’s that? And how do you apparently know so much about me? I know nothing of you.” He approached; and, as he did so, the two got a better look at him.
He was wearing a long, brown trench coat with green highlights, along with black dress slacks and a black vest. His white shirt showed out from under the other garments and the goggles on his head shone with a brilliance only tempered glass can give.
“Well, I suppose we can trust anyone willing enough to sock it to a Princess, even if it wasn’t a very good hit. You may refer to me as Z.” He looked almost reluctant to talk to the person before him as his cape flared slightly, easily dodging the mans questions.
“Don’t mind him, he just realised he shouldn’t have worn a cape to the desert. I’m A by the way, pleasure to meetcha.” She held her hand out towards the man, the ever present smile on her mask backed up by her calm eyes as the flames on her own clothes calmed somewhat.
“Oh, I don’t mind at all. Not the first person to dislike me upon our meeting.” He reaches out, clasping her hand in his own before bringing it to his face and kissing the back of said hand. “I’m Nicholas. Call me Nick for short.” He the released her hand, letting his own fall to his side.
A flashed a smug grin in Z’s direction briefly before turning back to Nicholas. “Don’t mind if I do, if you like you can call me A for short as well.”
For his part Z just facepalmed while A smiled towards Nicholas calmly.
“Alright, A, also known as A, I’ll simply call you A, for simplicity’s sake. We don’t need to cause issues in the future with a name as long as yours,” he smirked knowingly.
She simply chuckled and tilted her head behind her in a slight gesture. “Headed that way I presume?” The castle in the distance behind them simply glimmered in the sunlight.
“What was your first clue?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. “The footsteps leading in that direction or the fact that you’re walking away from the place and we happened to run into each other like this?”
Z briefly tempered his gaze as he looked at Nicholas, moving it beyond him and towards the Villain camp in the distance. “You can handle this one, never liked manipulators.” His mask became a deepened frown as he simply walked past, avoiding eye contact as he headed to the camp.
On the other hand A only seemed to cheer up more. “Ooh, ooh, I pick C. No wait, this wasn’t multiple choice sorry. In which case….. what is ‘logical train of thought’?”
–
Announcer’s Booth
Umbra winced.
“Ooh! Sorry, but that answer is not correct!”
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT
–
“Darn!” A snapped her fingers as she silently cursed her bad luck. “Well to be honest it was because you seem to really want to help people, and considering the… grandeur of the castle back there I’d think that’s where the good chaps go.”
“‘Good chaps’? You say it like you’re not one.” Nicholas chuckles slightly. “I mean, you are on your way to the arena to fight, or, at least, to the enemy base... Right?”
“Guy in the sky? Do the buzzer thing again.”
–
Announcer’s Booth
“Heh heh, you got it, luv”
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT
–
“Cheers” She briefly gave the clouds a thumbs up before turning back to Nick. “So sorry there, but I’m on a strict ‘protect and serve if you really feel like it I guess’, kind of mission, and the guy I’m protecting is on that side.”
“D-does that mean I have to k-kill you?” He reels back a little.
“Aw, well you don’t have to if you don’t want to. But if you really feel like it…” The bottom half of her mask seemed to tear as rows of sharp teeth formed across the mouth, her eyes burning brilliantly as her hair seemed to disobey gravity while it caught fire. She spoke with what sounded to be hundreds of voices, all calm and almost warm-hearted. “You’re certainly welcome to take a shot.”
“I-I don’t really w-want to. Sorry?” He’s more confused than anything at this point. She almost seems like she wanted him to try.
In an instant she returned to normal, a calm smile once more etched into her mask. “That’s perfectly fine boyo! Hopefully I won’t have to kill anyone once the fighting begins, leave the murdering to the murderers and the burgers to the fry cooks I say!”
A faint ‘That has no relevance!’ could be heard in the direction of the camp.
“Oh, alright, then. Thank you. I didn’t want to kill just yet.” He takes a deep breath, returning to his calm self. “Anyway, it was a pleasure to meet you, A. I hope we never see each other on the field of battle.” He smiled as he stuck a hand out for her to shake.
She chuckled as she stepped towards him and gave him a high-five, “That’s assuming you can kill me, have fun following the yellow brick road!” A laughed as she stepped past him, her dress flashing briefly as a yellow brick path formed out beneath a flash of fire, headed straight towards the castle.
“O-okay, then…. Off to see the wizard, I guess.”
Nicholas then follows the aforementioned Yellow Brick Road.
–
Announcer’s Booth
“You’re off to see the Wizard~ The wonderful Wizard of Oz~”
Umbra bolted upright.
“FUCK! I hate that song!”
–
A calmly strides towards the Villain camp, squinting slightly as she all but whispered to herself. “Now that I know someone is watching, what will it take to stop you from telling any undesirables about me and my companions… apparel?” VWORPLE
Skreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-SLAM THUD
“What apparel?
-Umbra”
A quick roll of her eyes and a few steps later she began to talk again. “You know exactly what I mean. I’m referring to the… armies up our sleevies if you will.”
Vworple
“Oh…. eh. I don’t really do a lot of telling here. So…. just don’t ask me for stuff and I won’t tell anything to anyone.
-Umbra”
A small pout was present on her mask. “Aww, can’t I ask for just one itty-bitty thing?”
Bloop
“Okay. Just because you seem fun. And because everyone gets one.”
She scanned the sky, her eyes briefly shimmering as they came across the announcers booth far out of sight range, a smirk appearing on her mask once more. “We both know that’s not true now don’t we?” She chuckled slightly before going on her way again. “Could you increase the molecular attraction between sand particles ever so slightly in my general vicinity?”
Plop
“I’m almost afraid to ask why. But sure.”
Shsshshshshshshssshhh
She cheered as she jumped up, pushing down as she landed only to be pushed back in the air once more, laughing as she kept bouncing along until she sailed past Z, doing a flip and sticking her tongue out at him as she sailed right past his face; to which he only groaned slightly and trudged along, “Why would anyone encourage her?”
Vwwwwm
“Oh yeah. I forgot about what happens when I do that.”
Teridax stood up, stretched. The wait was helping him out, enough that Auric would actually have to pressure him when he finally arrived. Ah, he could wait a long, long time. The heart on his chest glowed a little brighter, and he tapped it. “Hush now. Everything is as it should be.”
He casually scried out the location of the hero base and snorted. “I would say that it’s fairly melodramatic, but that would be rather hypocritical. Shame that miss Kat’s there; would have liked to talk to her. Try and convince her that this war is nothing important.”
Another flicker of attention, on a being surrounded by the Laser Wasps of Umbra’s planet. “Ah, Nemesis. How very interesting. Yes… this is the perfect time for goodwill.”
With that, he stood up, and with nought but a thought teleported out, near Nemesis, where he was unsuccessfully holding his own. A simple thought, and the Laser Wasps backed off, and Teridax strode forwards, holding his arms at his sides to show that he brought no weapon. “Hello, Mr. Nemesis. How are you today?”
Nemesis brought his fist around to intercept an oncoming wasp, but only hit air as they quickly backed away from their target. Nemesis spun on the spot, coming face to face with what he could only describe as a robotic shadow.
“And just who the hell are you?” Nemesis, his head still pounding from the rush of battle, growled as his eye flared red.
Teridax smiled, already picking up on the psychic pressure of the T-virus. “I am Teridax. You may have heard of me. And don’t think about attacking me. Because if you do, I’ll push that rage of yours to the point that rage is all you’ll ever be… and I’ll throw you back into your own world.”
Skreeeeeeeeee-Slam!
Both jumped back as yet another capsule fell from orbit. This time, the capsule opened to reveal a human, this one thin and short, about five feet ten inches tall. As the unknown human stood, he opened his eyes and immediately his identity became known.
After all, who else would have eyes that exuded such raw power from their pitch black depths?
Umbra spoke, “Dammit Teridax! Meddling is my schtick over here! Do your stupid meddling some other time!”
“Umbra, I am willing to uphold the rules of this war. I swear, on my honour that I will not fight, harm or kill any of the other side until it has started. I am here to… talk. But my threat, Nemesis, is real. I am perfectly capable of that. I merely won’t do that until this war has started.”
“Teridax?” Nemesis’ words were twisted, a combination of his own voice and something else. He began to advance towards him. “Youuu...you were the one who…” Nemesis stopped when he remembered the threat, his grip tightening on his weapon as his footsteps halted. He shook for only a moment before he took a step back. “Fine. What are you here for, then?”
Teridax shapeshifted, into the form of Auric. And smiled. “Nemesis, I can feel in the back of your mind an incredible rage. It comes from the T-virus that permeates your veins.” He then shifted into the form of Celestia, who continued. “There is no normal way to defeat this virus, of course.” Another shift, and he was Twilight Sparkle. “Except for a genius like myself.” He then returned to his normal form. “Tell me, Nemesis, what would you give for the chance to be free of that rage forever?”
Nemesis suddenly burst out into laughter. ”So what, you’re saying you’re here to resolve my anger management issues?” Nemesis snorted. ”If what you’ve done so far is how you go about it, you’re a pretty shitty therapist.”
Umbra spoke up, “I don’t normally do thi– okay who am I kidding, I do this a lot, but I can get rid of that virus for free…. or if you’re willing to pay about fifteen bits I can give it a toggle and remove the rage. I think, Teriyaki, that I make better sales pitches. Y’know, being an interdimensional salesman and all.”
Teridax shrugged. “My product will not remove the virus in its entirety, but will grant you everything you want- no rage, no infection spread, all the benefits. And, I will ask you this- my price is simply to not get in my way when I fight Auric. Fight anyone else you want, but don’t get in my way or Auric’s. And one more thing.” He looked at Umbra pointedly. “I can’t read your mind, but I can make an educated guess. You’re associated with the merchant fellow who sent people like Nemesis here, aren’t you.”
Nemesis broke his glare at Teridax and shifted it to Umbra with a growl, as if expecting a reply.
He got one.
“The Merchant. Fucking asshole still needs a kick in the nuts. Keeps slipping away though. Never really have the time to go after him. Besides, who among us would honestly want to go back to living their powerless lives back on Earth after all of this? I wouldn’t. Anynoodle, yeah, I work with the same guild that The Merchant is in. ‘Cept he’s way down on the ‘Do Not Sell’ list and I’m near the top somehow.”
Teridax nodded. “In which case, I apologise for thinking you were associated with him. But my offer still stands, Nemesis. Either of our offers are good. And, as a show of good faith, I will have Mr. Umbra here verify that what I promise is true.” He pulled out a vial of silvery powder, and with a slight flourish handed it over to Umbra.
The humanised shadow shrugged and sniffed the vial, his eyes blinking twice in confusion.
“Well I’ll be…. usually you master manipulator types make stuff that’s actually just sugar water or something. But this stuff….. it’s actually damn good! It does exactly what he says it’d do!”
Teridax snorted. “Mr Umbra, you know that the Makuta are masters of Viruses that can create life. Compared to that, this was a cakewalk. And don’t hand it to me; I won’t have you accusing me of switching the vials or anything. Besides, I know that you were the kind of person who would check anyway, so making a fake solution is worthless.”
“This is true. Well Nemesis, it’s your choice now….. Hey….. what’s that sound?”
Nemesis pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. ”Umbra, I swear to God if you brought more of those things here…”
Umbra shifted back to normal, “No no, not that sound, a different sound…… sounds like……. a person…..”
From down below them, the noise continued to grow louder and louder. Then a large geiser of sand burst forth, shooting out a human boy in his late teens, falling to the ground in front of them. “Aw ha ha ha, that sucked!” he groaned, try to at least get up on his knees. “What the hell did I just do?”
“Given your appearance, Mr. Ben Tennyson, I would say that you’ve just tunnelled out of the ground.” Teridax remarked, dry as the wasteland surrounding them. The insects around him buzzed loudly, unsure of this person but he silenced them with a look.
“Wrong dude, I’m not Tennyson. He’s in his own universe,” Ben said as he finally got on his two feet and cracked his neck. “Aww~, it’s always the neck.”
“Oh. Hey Ben,” Umbra deadpanned, forming a small barrier around himself, Teridax, and Ben to shield their conversation.
“Wait…. eh. Nemesis can probs survive out there a while. So, what brings you out here to the middle of nowhere?”
“I don’t know,” he replied rubbing his sore neck. “I was just screwin’ around with my new powers and then ‘poof’, I’m flying through sand.” Ben looks at the other being with Umbra, raising an eyebrow at him. “And it seems I’ve come face-to-face with a nightmare come true. Makuta Teridax, I presume?”
Teridax bowed. “Yes, Mr. Ben, representative of the Greek gods. I am Teridax.”
“So you’re the jackass that’s the reason we’re all here.” Ben eyed him up and down before shrugging. “Eh, I’ve seen weirder.”
“I know.”
“I think at this point we’ve all seen weirder…….. like that one time I….. nope. Not telling that one. Bad enough to just experience it…”
“I meant more that he really isn’t that scary. Hell, the Daleks were scarier than you are.”
“Daleks aren’t scary at all. Weeping Angels though…. Terrifying bitches they are, though only when they’re starving. The rest of the time they’re pleasant girls…. a little morbid but pleasant all the same.”
Ben looked at Umbra very strangely, before pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing. “I really need to stop being around you people. You’re going to drive away what’s left of my sanity.” Ben frowned for a moment. “I don’t care what you think, Power, we’re not starting the war prematurely. And you shut up, Honor, this doesn’t involve you.”
Teridax nodded. “Until Auric appears, I’m not making any moves whatsoever, and neither will those who follow me.”
“Huh, a villain who honors the rules. Haven’t met one of those in a while. Sorry about talking to myself, the other guys are pretty vocal nowadays. And more than a few want to tear you to shreds just for shits and giggles.”
Teridax studied him for a few moments. “I obey the laws that Umbra has created because I know the consequences for breaking them would be terrible. Even then, I really don’t care about what you do, just as long as Auric’s here.”
“Well I’m only here because I promised I would be. Don’t really even have a stake in war, well save for the chance to finally meet my long lost sister.”
Teridax nodded. “I wish you luck in your endeavour. But a word of warning…” He shifted into the form of Umbra “get in between me and Auric and I’ll cut you down. He. Is. Mine.”
“Like I care,” Ben sneered back. “If it happens, it happens, get over yourself. You’re. Nothing. Special.”
Teridax shrugged. “Really. If you say so, Mr. Ben. You may find me more dangerous than you think. Until the war officially starts, though… I won’t do anything.”
“I eagerly await,” he replied sarcastically. “Go back to your little hide-away, you obsessed weirdo.” Ben made a sign of “shooing” with his hand. “Go on, get.”
Umbra suddenly jolted, “Whoo, okay….. that was a weird three centuries…… what did I miss while I was out of this body? … And why does Teridax look like me now?”
Teridax shifted back. “Me and Ben were having an enlightening conversation as to the current ceasefire. Now, hopefully we will leave with civility and respect.”
“Not likely,” Ben replied looking highly uninterested.
Teridax shrugged. “If you want incivility, then I am perfectly capable of that.” The insects buzzed angrily, responding to their masters’ will.
“Dammit. This is what happens when I get called away for three centuries and try to come back to the exact moment I left….”
Ben looked at Umbra, quiet for a moment, then asked, “Umbra? Do you still have that badge I gave you? The one that acts as my token?”
“Huh? Oh yeah, here it is,” Handing it over, Umbra cocked his head, “Why do you need it?”
“Because,” he said as he typed in a few commands. “I made a decision a while back, and I’m sticking it to it.” Ben tossed the badge back to Umbra, but the green had now become a dull grey.
“Eh?”
“I deactivated it.”
“No more calling on you then? Shame. Oh well, c’est la vie. Here, take this,” Tossing over an emerald green smart phone, Umbra continued, “It’s a personalized Token. Mine, to be exact. Just call me up whenever you feel like it. There’s a lot of stuff to do on it and it’s got infinite battery life, reception no matter where you are in the Multiverse, it’s almost indestructible, it’s got Wi-Fi everywhere, Flash Player, and it can project a screen and keyboard in case you want a laptop instead of a smart phone.”
He turned to Teridax, “No, you don’t get one. Not unless you prove yourself worthy of it.”
Teridax gave the impression of smiling. “I don’t plan on living long enough to really benefit from it anyway.”
Ben looked at the phone in his hand then to Umbra. “Thanks,” then he crushed it, “but no. I don’t want your token. Or anyone else’s.”
“Dammit, that was a custom! You coulda at least used it for the entertainment value! And the efficiency value. It’s great for getting work done.”
“I don’t care, I’ve already made my decision.”
“An’ I respect that…… Want a laptop?”
“No Umbra. Once this war is over, there is only one thing I want from you.”
“And that would be?”
“To leave me alone. When this is all done, I don’t want anything to do with the Displaced anymore. Certain people I will let keep my totem, but the rest will be permanently deactivated.”
“Okay, whew, I thought you were gonna say something a lot more upsetting. But yeah, that’s fine…… wait….. does that mean I can’t just hang out anymore? I mean, I’ve only seen your Universe once and that was just your room. I kinda wanted to explore a little. Not like you could stop me but I like to ask permission.”
“It’s partially for your own good. You are a wanted criminal in my Universe, after all.”
“Wait what. Why am I a criminal?”
“The Celestialsapiens, my bosses, hate your guts.”
“They are aware that I was the one that evolved their silly, star-patterned asses from space whales all those eons ago, right? Okay, some of that was my subordinates practicing, but I started the evolution. I mean….. they can’t stop me either as long as I have a good reason. And this District being what it is….. I’m allowed to see you guys as long as I don’t meddle too much.”
“They don’t like anyone who’s on par or more powerful than they are. So….thems the breaks. The other part is….I don’t really see you as a friend.”
“...Great time to change that viewpoint then….. I just noticed that we’ve been ignoring Teridax for a while….. Sorry about that.”
Teridax waved a hand. “Not really a problem. It’s good to see that there are some who are willing to disrespect a Sysadmin. They do know what you could do if you really felt like it?”
“Of course they know, but they are willing to use anything they can to get rid of the guy. SysAdmins are not welcome in a Universe that has Celestialsapiens. Never have been, never will be.”
“Bet I could do something about that…. Ah well, as always, c’est la vie. Not much point trying to keep me out when – Oh would you look at that, I’m already there. And always was. And will be. And won’t be. And every other permutation of the concept of presence. Because I exist in every point on my personal ball of infinite timelines simultaneously. So I’m everywhere. And nowhere. Fitting for a shadow, eh? There but not there. Interacting without interacting. Death likes his symbolism.”
Ben simply shook his head. “Look it’s nothing personal, but just stay out. I’m giving that message to all Displaced. They’re not welcome in my world anymore. Never really wanted them to be in first place.”
Umbra crossed his arms and narrowed his eyespots, “Quick tangent; there’s a stray thread on your collar and it’s been bugging me for the past few minutes. Kindly remove it, please.”
He rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers, destroying the small strand...and a mile of wasteland behind him. “Ehehehe…..oops.”
“It’s just wasteland. Nothing much there. Except….. yup. There goes my favorite tumbleweed bush. Damn. Now I need to replant it. Anyways, I’m still going to hang out every now and then, seeing as I’m not really a Displaced anymore. And because I think we’d be great friends. And to piss off those over-grown space-whale descendants. Feckin’ cunts, the majority of them. The adolescents are usually okay though. Some of them actually like me.”
“Not in mine. You are on the top of the Most Unwanted list. Sorry. And I’m sorry, but to me you are a Displaced and you are not welcome in my world. Not now, not ever.”
“‘Kay…. Then I’ll hang out with one of your Alternates. Some of them actually like me.”
“Fine by me. But I need a better commitment than that. Pinkie Promise to never come back to my universe again.”
“I, uh, I’m not allowed to make those because of how I mangle causality…. I preemptively break them before they’re made…..”
“Make it or I leave.”
“Well, it’s my head Pinkie’s going to be hunting…….. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my – OH GOD THAT STINGS,” Umbra grasped his frosting covered face, screaming in pain, “OH GOD WHY DID I ACTUALLY SHOVE A CUPCAKE IN MY EYE.”
“Because you’re not all there, Shadow. Unlike some of us.” Ben frowned again. “Not asking for your opinion, Hum. Or yours Superiority….oh shut up, the lot of you! Gah, why did Nexus have to leave me with these damn jerks?!”
“...Hypocrite,” Umbra suddenly froze, shivering violently, “And there it goes. I have now broken a Pinkie Promise for the five hundredth time. Seriously, why would you tell someone with near Omnipresence not to go somewhere!?”
“Because they’re not welcome. And good luck with that broken Pinkie Promise. Fair warning, my Pinkie is a big fan of bear traps.”
“Lord almighty. Good thing those don’t work on me.”
Teridax shook his head. “Enough. I would like to finish talking with Nemesis.”
The B.O.W. in question was standing just outside of the barrier Umbra had formed around the three of them. His back was to them and his arms were crossed as if he was in thought.
Teridax simply teleported outside and looked at Nemesis. “Well, Nemesis? Who do you choose?”
Nemesis shifted his gaze towards Teridax. He snorted. “Can I see that vial?”
Teridax teleported back in, grabbed the vial and teleported back, handing it over. “If you want, you can check with Umbra again, to ensure that I didn’t switch it.”
Nemesis held the vial between two fingers and raised it into the sky as he stared at it. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary.” He lowered his hand, and allowed the vial to rest in his palm. “Teridax…” He began, staring down at the vial.
Then he closed his fist, the vial cracking slightly. “You collaborated with my enemy in a world that was not yours. You prolonged the suffering of those who didn’t even deserve it for the sake of your own gain.” The vial cracked further. “You created a being designed to chase me down and kill me no matter where I went, and if that’s not enough it’s that on top of the other crimes you’ve committed against other Displaced around the multiverse.” The vial shattered completely, and the liquid ran down Nemesis’ knuckle. “I may be fucked up in the head, but I’m of sound mind enough to know right from wrong. And what you did? What you’ve done? It’s wrong.” Nemesis’ eye burned red. “You have your little lovers’ spat with Auric, I frankly don’t give a damn. Both he and you have made it clear that the fight is between you two, and if Auric wins,” Nemesis growled. “No, when he wins, because he will win, if he doesn’t kill you, you can bet your ass I’ll be there to finish the job. I’ll find a way to defeat this virus, Teridax, but it won’t be from you.”
Teridax looked at him. “It’s so rare to meet a man of your principles. I’m almost touched.” He looked at the liquid pooling on the ground. “It doesn’t matter in the long run. Whether or not you accept my gift, the outcome is still the same.” Teridax looked him in the eye. “If I win, I win. I’m the better man between me and Auric. If I lose, and Auric kills me, I’ve done something sensational. I’ve broken a man who is my equal. And if he can’t muster up the energy to kill me… I have ways of defying imprisonment.” He shook his head. “Do you really think Auric would allow you to kill me? You know him. He’s a man of principles, just like you and me.”
Nemesis snorted again. “Principles? Principles went out the window the moment you decided to work with someone who uses a virus that mutates innocents into weapons. As far as I’m concerned you’re a canniving bastard who doesn’t look out for anyone but themselves. If I have to wait to make sure you meet the ending you deserve, I can do that.”
Teridax nodded. “I would be lying if I said that I knew you wouldn’t take the deal, but I’m not that surprised either. These things happen, and I decided to take a risk. By the way, how did you find out about my involvement? I really shouldn’t have trusted anybody with my name at all, but then again, that’s business for you.”
“Princess Luna can be quite persuasive, especially when she’s interrogating high ranking members of Ellura who had an inkling of what went down between you and Inkwell.” Nemesis chuckled. “I suppose it helps when you can basically walk right into their minds as they sleep, too. They spoke about someone named Teridax who provided them with an improved virus formula, and provided them with what you named ‘Majora’. Kat Shifter filled me in on the rest.”
Teridax blinked. “Ah, Kat Shifter… the one obsessed with revenge. Yes, I met her. How was Majora, by the way? I rather liked Majora. One of my finest creations… it’s good to hear some feedback.” He sat down and looked at Nemesis intently, waiting for the blow-by-blow report.
(spoilers)
Nemesis crossed his arms, scowling a bit. “ Well, during an attack on one of Ellura’s facilities in Canterlot, I summoned Jack of Blades for some assistance. His… madness god was rather displeased about this and summoned something from the resident evil verse, William Birkin, to kill me. We managed to defeat it and after we parted ways I made my way back to Ponyville through the Everfree. That’s when I first met your little...creation. I don’t know how, but he had absorbed some of the G-virus from William Birkin’s body and was adapting to my attacks before they even hit him.”
Teridax actually seemed surprised. “Interesting. It really was supposed to adapt to your attacks when they hit it. Hm. Something to look into.” He waved a hand. “Continue.”
“The g-virus itself has some adaptive abilities, I suppose it simply compounded on his own.” Nemesis growled a bit. “I wasn’t sure what he was, and he proved… quite the challenge. I only managed to incapacitate him and had to run, if I had stayed and fought him I probably would have been killed.”
Teridax nodded. “Well, it was designed to be your perfect counter, after all. Only one weapon, and it would be difficult to defeat without outside assistance. I presume you managed to finally destroy Majora, but how on Earth did you do it?”
“Well, he followed me to another Displaced’s universe. Jason’s, not sure if you know who he is. Anyways, Jason turned into someone he called Ghostfreak and possessed Majora, disabling its adaptive capabilities. After that I shot and beat him until he stopped moving.” Nemesis’ eye burned red. “But he showed up again. He attacked me in the depths of the Ellura facility in Fillydelphia, but he was severely weakened. He absorbed biomatter from some of the other B.O.W.s and turned into...something else. I can only really describe it as a shadow, not unlike yourself. It was a difficult fight, but in the end I tore him in half and threw his remains into superheated chemical waste.” Nemesis finished with a nod. “Some of the ponies helped me, I think without their help he probably would have killed me, though at that point I don’t think he was very intelligent anymore. He seemed...primal. Savage, even.” Nemesis shuddered at the memory. “Not unlike myself when I…” Nemesis shut his eye and shook his head. “Nevermind.”
“When you gave in to that rage in the back of your mind?” Teridax stood up. “If I survive, I might have to work on ensuring the mental feedback doesn’t transmit that rage. Until then, Mr Nemesis, it was interesting to meet you.”
Nemesis flinched as Teridax finished his sentence for him, then turned to watch him as he stood. “I wish I could say likewise, but I’ll be much more interested when this war is over and you’re locked far, far away or rotting in the ground.” His eye burned red as he growled.
Teridax nodded. “Well, I think I’ll take my leave, Mr. Nemesis.” With that, he teleported out of existence. The laserwasps briefly wavered, then flew away from Nemesis, towards the villain base.
Nemesis remained for a minute longer, staring at the spot Teridax had been before he took a deep breath, feeling his rage die down again. He rubbed his head as he turned towards the barrier with Umbra and Ben in it and knocked on it. “You two gonna be in there all day?”
Ben nodded to Umbra to let down the shield, which fell a moment later. “Sorry ‘bout that. Personal chat. And...woah, you freaky boy.”
“That’s what I get for dressing up as a biological weapon of mass destruction at a con. And you’re the second guy I’ve seen with that thing on your wrist.”
“Oh, you must mean Jason. Yeah, he’s an okay guy, but I’m the true wielder of this thing. Name’s Ben, Ben 10X. And you are?”
Nemesis nodded. “Nemesis. Just Nemesis. I was just looking to take Umbra up on his offer, seeing as Teridax probably won’t be doing me favors anytime soon after our little chat.”
“So you’re taking up the offer, then? Good to hear,” Umbra rubbed his eyespots, “Man, I don’t know why, but I feel like I’ve been hopping timelines back and forth for years now…. Gods I’m so sleepy…” He slapped his head a few times before continuing, “Okay. I’m good. Let’s do this. You may feel a pinch…. or twelve thousand.”
“Can’t be any more painful than the time Jason zapped me with his alien watch. Just get it over with.”
“A’righty then…” Umbra snapped his fingers, and for a moment, Nemesis felt reality reworking itself as his vision swam and he experienced colors and sounds that were beyond even the wildest imagination.
Including the taste of purple. “Grape? That’s rather expected…”
Ben looked at Umbra with a cocked eyebrow. “Am I missing something here? Dufaq are you doing to the guy?”
“I’m fucking with his coding and his DNA. It’s hard work. If he’s seeing weird things, well, it’s not my fault. It’s his brain’s.”
“Umbra you are one weird ass shadow. But a cool one, I’ll admit.”
“The chief of tribe Tunhamanhake extends gratitude for the beans you gave him last night!” Nemesis shouted inexplicably. He was okay though. Probably.
“Was that babbling or was he serious?” Ben asked Umbra. “Hard to tell with all the shiz you do.”
“I’m pretty sure it was babbling, though I did give a guy named Tunhamanhake a can of beans a few millennia ago when he was starving in the Mojave Desert,” Umbra answered, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, “I checked in on him in secret a few years after…. he made a tribe.”
“Huh,” Ben commented. “Interesting. So, how long does this usually take?”
“Should be done soon. T-Virus really hates outside mutations that it didn’t purposefully start. Hard to work around without killing the host.”
When the deal with Nemesis was done, Teridax stood still for a moment, contemplating. He tapped the heart absent-mindedly. “He really should be here soon… I might actually have to delay my schedule a bit. Want a good way for him to be interested.”
“Who you talkin’ about buddy?” came a woman’s voice.
“The only intelligent person around here. Myself.” Teridax turned to the woman who was talking to him, already curious about the fact he couldn’t read her mind.
“Oh ho ho! Look out guys! We got a badass over here!” she said as a crowd seemed to say, “Oooo.”
Teridax watched her impassively. “I don’t think I have had the pleasure. You likely know who I am.”
“Teridax, King of Shadows, Rival of Auric Fulcrum, met him once by the way, and a Displaced,” she closed the book she had pulled from nowhere, “You might know of me, not quite sure, depends on who you know.”
Teridax simply nodded. “No, I don’t know who you are, but I can make a couple of guesses. You clearly have access to a pocket dimension of some sort, putting your average power at the level of Umbra. So it’s likely that you’re a Sysadmin, or at least a similar level of entity. But your name, I do not know.”
Essence nodded. “Similar to Umbra, yes. I don’t have need of a pocket dimension. I’m an entity similar to The Merchant. I’ve had multiple names but the one I use now is The Musician.”
“Interesting.” Teridax absently looked around. The scenery around him was much the same. “When is Auric going to come here? The rest of the war is of no consequence if he doesn’t show up.”
Essence shrugs. “I’ll do my best but no promises.”
Teridax nodded. “I’ll hold you to that.” With that, he teleported back to his base, thinking about that chance encounter.
Essence, in the meantime, disappeared. A loud whoop of joy escaped her as she landed in Umbra’s tricked out Announcer/DJ booth. A sound echoed from her landing. It was the same achievement sound that you get from a video game.
DUN DA DA DUN DUN DA DA!
Essence scoffed. She’d have to fix that later.
“Essence? Why the hell are you in my booth? I swear I locked that door.”
Umbra stood from where he was reclining and floated over to his cot, settling into another reclined position.
Essence put her hands together. “The answer to both is, I haven’t practiced teleporting, I wanted to land outside the door, and I met Teridax. He seems pissed at the delay. I said I’d do what I could.”
“I see. Well, there’s snacks in the fridge, and drinks. There’s a game center over in that corner, and don’t touch the mix table. That one is a custom build.”
As he spoke, Umbra pointed to the aforementioned corner– more of a large alcove, really– and to his custom built, super powerful, ultra-high performance mix table Mark XXXXII.
He liked to call it “The Bass Dropper 9000”.
Essence sniggered, “I don’t need a mix table, remember?”
“Yes, but still. Don’t touch it. One wrong move would destroy the planet from sonic backlash. I should probably tone down the speakers a little, now that I think about it.”
‘Oh, please, you and I both know how easily you could fix it. Either way, I wasn’t gonna touch it.” Essence held up her hands. She looked around before turning back to Umbra. “I’ll be back later.” She disappeared.
“Crazy-ass woman. Cute ears, though,” Umbra shook his head before turning back to what he had been doing.
Some would’ve been put off with seeing a woman jumping around in the desert with flames licking at her clothes, luckily for A, no one tends to wander around the desert. With a fair bit of surprise she somehow managed to fall on someone who was wandering around a desert wasteland.
“Fade damn it all,” came a voice from underneath her, “ Why do I always get landed on? I need to talk to Umbra about this BS.”
“Maybe it’s because you’re so doggang comfy!” She rolled backwards off from the voice that had come beneath her, stretching out onto the sand.
Essence sat up and started messing with her tail. After clearing it of sand, she looked over to A. “Hello, I guess.”
“BZZZT, wrong answer, care to take another try or would you like to use a lifeline?”
“Lifeline. Help. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”
“You’ve fallen!? Oh no, I’d love to help but I’m a bit busy making sand angels while I wait for the other guy.” A was actually making sand angels, her dress somehow remaining remarkably clean and her hair almost untouched.
“Cool. I’d love to make some but-” she started before being interrupted by a musical tune. “Oh. Guess I can.” Essence laid down in sand next to A. “Whee…”
Fifteen minutes later the both of them had gotten bored. Well, one of them did. “Okay I’m bored now.” A said rather abruptly, standing up and shaking her head slightly. Essence, on the other hand, had already been sitting up for a good seven minutes. “Ooh fluffy!”
OH DEAR GODDESS. She saw my tail… Essence thought, aloud.
“Yes she did!” A laughed and pounced onto the fluffy anomaly, arms outstretched as she practically willed herself to pet it. Essence dodged and ran off only for A to quickly pounce after her again, whiskers appearing on her mask as she curled up slightly “Lemme pet your tail kitty!”
“No! It’s sensitive!”
“You shan’t escape my grasp thou fluffy beast! Huzzah!” A twisted herself slightly as she landed, smirking as her deft turn enabled her to tackle Essence barely, pinning her onto her front as she tried to pet the tail with one hand, nuzzling against Essence’s cat ears as well “Victory is mine, now submit!”
At this moment another figure had come into view, immediately facepalming as he realised what was happening. “Oh dear Origin, A, you’re a moron.” Decidedly, it was at this moment Z had pledged never to work with the golden guardian of good again. “And why in Equus would you go along with her… whoever you are?”
Pushing A off of herself Essence looked up to him, A immediately returning to playing with her tail. “I'm Essence, The Musician, wielder of divinity, madness incarnate of the Void, reaper of tyrants, Bubble mistress, and The Last of the Influences. You are?"
“Currently I go by Z, eraser of the wicked and punisher of souls. And...” He groaned loudly as his attention turned to A who was trying to wrap herself in Essences tail. “I see you’ve met A. On behalf of my universe I apologise.”
“It’s not as bad as it looks, I guess.”
“Riiight. Sorry for intruding.” He calmly reached down and grabbed the back of A’s dress, the golden flames along it avoiding his touch as he started pulling her away. “I’ll be taking this one somewhere she won’t get in the way.”
“Um… It’s kinda my fault to be honest…”
“Really?” He dropped A, who was trying desperately to grab at the tail again, to the ground and pointed at her. “You’re saying this one-”
“That’s me by the way!”
“Didn’t try and grab at your tail?” His mask showed a look of casual disbelief and minor displeasure.
“I mucked up a teleport, she landed on me, we made sand angels, and she saw my tail. I usually hide it.”
“I… see… With a cautious lack of judgement I’ll be leaving then, oh and A? I will be reporting this.”
For her part A had been mucking around with a sock puppet of Z, imitating him as he talked.
Essence sneezed and an image floated away from her. “That’s new…”
“None of my business. A, no eating her because she’s fluffy. I’m instigating rule list three-thousand, nine-hundred and sixty eight.” With that he walked towards the villain camp, he had more important things to deal with than an idiot and an unaccomplished cat.
“Hey! I heard that.”
Z halted slightly, looking towards Essence out of the corner of his eye before sighing and continuing forward. “I’ll have to inform the Origin the firewall requires an update.”
“Um… That wouldn’t work… I have near same abilities as Umbra.”
“I know, and my weapons are made with those like you in mind so I’m sure a firewall capable of blocking Sysadmins and those ranking higher isn’t too out of the question.”
“Not a SysAdmin, nor higher.”
“It doesn’t matter what you are, go peeking around my thoughts again and you will be erased”
“Erase me, you erase over seventy trillion worlds. Probably more.”
“And? You make it sound as if I hold any care for those worlds. No, as far as I’m concerned you can do whatever you like, just keep it away from me.”
“Sometimes I peek by accident. And those worlds? They include yours.”
“Then you clearly don’t understand what I meant by erased. Let me indulge you. It involves every single line of code, every strand of your soul burning away while anything you had an effect on will have no memories of you, nothing to show you ever existed, and every single existence you’ve ever created will simply think of some other reason for their origin.”
“My code intertwines with so many worlds that it would cause around… 3 fourths of the multiverse to end. Do you really wish to create such havoc?”
“There’s a difference between wanting to create havoc and wanting to erase someone. But yes, I would still go through with it and I would also not be held accountable for the destruction of those worlds, as I have already stated, no one would know I killed you if no one remembers you.”
“... Need I say it? I’m connected to the entire Multiverse. Even a small amount would effect your world. And small can be big. Imagine. Music never existing. Science never existing, can you?”
Z simply chuckled as he faced away. “As I’ve said, you simply aren’t connected to our universe. Tell me, when did you make such connections? A billion years ago? A trillion? An infinitesimal amount of eons ago?”
“I said I was the Last Influence? I’m the first created. I was there when coding was made. Every code had me attached to it. I am part of the code. Each microscopic piece of code? I’m in it. Even custom coding.”
“Then I’ll give you a hint, look into my code and tell me what you see.”
Essence peered at him, meeting some resistance, bursting into flames for a mere second, before she looked down past the basic components. There it was. The smallest of connections but she didn’t mention it and due to it, the code ignored most of her actions. If she edited it, it would attack but otherwise…
As this was happening, A was trying to swat at Essence’s tail. “Myaa!”
The other two decided to ignore her. “Look at mine.”
“I cannot, I was made only to serve my purpose and the ability to view the code is unnecessary.”
“I’ll show you.”
Z shook his head. “I have no need to see. You sound like you have knowledge that gives you a higher standing thus I’ll submit for now, but I’m still asking you to keep out of my head.”
“I never said I would go inside your head again. I won’t go inside your head.”
He nodded, setting out towards the villain camp once more. “Very well, break your promise and you’ll never be trusted by another of my kind.” His steps were light even though his gait was huge, his back being the only thing visible as he kept walking away.
Essence looked after him, “If only he knew…”
“Knew what?” A’s head was suddenly next to Essence’s. “Knew that you have a hatred for the Bookseller… or was that the Merchant? The Monopoly man? Mer-people in general?.”
“Not quite. I do but this is a different secret.”
“Hmmm, then is it because your cody wodey is all wibbly wobbly, timey wimey?”
“Disturbingly accurate. Do you know what it means?”
“I do, but do YOU know what it means?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Good, because I barely have half of an idea as to what it means.”
The Hero Castle
With a flash of light a man landed in the entrance hall of the Hero Castle. He stood from his slightly crouched position. He raised his blade up and spoke.
“Here I am,” was all he said.
Auric Fulcrum: The Golden Sun, Leader of the Golden Dawn, Wielder of Eureka, The Golden Flames of Alchemy
The Good Guy
(Zero wouldn't be able to get in sight of this guy)
(He’d end up Blinded by the Light )
Auric stepped out of the entrance hall to look at the Hero Castle. He whistled. “Wow. You’ve outdone yourself Umbra…”
VWORPLE
Thank you
-Umbra
VWORPLE
Teridax glanced up, before his eyes glowed an extremely bright yellow. “He’s here…”
Auric, having been exploring the impressive castle, got cold chills. Someone had mentioned him, someone close enough to make him feel their power, and he had a fairly good idea who. "Hello Teri."
Teridax leant back. “Good to see you, Auric. I was slightly worried you weren’t going to make it.”
"So did I," he muttered. Auric still had no idea why his trip took quite so 'long'.
A cat-eared girl poked in her head, "My bad. Probably from my universe breaking apart." Her ears lay flat on her head, betraying her emotions.
Auric looked at the girl, to Teridax, and back to the girl. “What?”
Teridax gave the impression of raising an eyebrow. “Well now. This is interesting.” He chuckled a bit. “Well, Auric, I’ll be the better Makuta, and give you one day to get settled in. It’s the least I can do. Then… then you’ll be mine. Good day, Auric Fulcrum.” With that, he lapsed into silence.
“I appreciate that,” Auric nodded and entered the castle to call his forces and prepare.
Umbra checked another tally adding to an already massive amount counting up the number of nods from Auric. Essence, who had appeared out of nowhere, handed Umbra a cup of coffee or tea. Cups are still on the fritz for her. “Here. I’ll be back later.”
<Insert Umbra Response here>
Auric had just entered the main hall to find the catgirl from before lounging on a throne and a crown sloppily placed on her head. “How the?”
She lept from the throne. “Never did introduce myself properly, did I?” She curtsied. “I am The Musician. Number One rival of the Merchant himself.”
“I really wouldn’t say that in front of this lot,” Auric said, leaning slightly away from her.
Essence quirked, “They’ve lost family, yes? But they weren’t killed by The Merchant. My entire family, so many of my friends, and my entire universe were destroyed by him.”
Auric sighed, “I suppose most of them can’t say that.”
“Need help calling your forces?” she asked.
“Erm…” Auric realized he would either have to get her help or Umbra’s in order to not waste his power. Umbra leaned towards his side but the girl before him was a mystery. He might as well accept. After all, it was best to know potential allies or foes.
“I’m neither,” she stated simply looking him in the eyes. “I am the True Neutral of this War. Every war needs one.”
She can read my thoughts? Didn’t I put a block on those at one point? he pondered. “Alright call them.”
“Any preferred method?”
“Not really,” he said.
“Got it,” she said. Snapping her fingers, nothing changed. At least in the room.
“Should do it,” she said. “Go ahead and look outside. I’ll be taking my leave.” With the sound of ting, she vanished. A floating, 3D music note floated where she was.
When Auric looked outside he saw something shocking. A Golden Sun. Written on it were the words, “Auric’s here. Forces report to the castle.”
“How in?” he muttered.
Neutral Territory
Essence looked into the pool again. Peering out into the Multiverse, something caught her eye. A few people that could help and wouldn’t be resentful. With that she jumped into the pool.
The water rippled and she flew towards the first. A boy named Alexis. He was about to die by gunfire from a robber in a store. She landed, blasted him back with music, and pulled Alexis out of the world.
What Essence didn’t know about that world was that it was her old vacation spot. A group of people saw her on the news and for weeks praised the old deity they thought she was. The Musician.
After she had pulled him out, she landed in a Pocket Universe. She turned to Alexis.
“Sorry about that. I decided to save you. Largely because I felt I could use your help,” she said.
“My help?” asked the boy.
“Yes. I will tell you later. For now, pick five powers from this hat,” she held out a top hat.
“Alright,” he reached in and pulled out five pieces of paper.
Ambient Resource Constructs- If he's got the material he can make It.
Nobody Physiology- power to be entirely or partially nonexistent
Supernatural Voice- Speaking causes strange things to happen
Wing Blades- Wings made of extremely sharp metal
Mythical Realm Lordship- Presiding ruler of a 'mythical' realm
“Oh. Well, looks like I have to make you a mythical realm. The rest aren’t too hard,” with that she began humming and swirls of power surrounded Alexis. Wing blades sprouted from his back, his abilities and body changed, and she stopped. “There. Now go.”
With that she pushed him out of the pocket universe and off he went. Moments later she found the second and helped her.
Repeating the process a few more times, she returned through the pool.
<Umbra interjects or something>
Villain’s Camp
Teridax didn’t smile, but he gave the impression of smiling. “Brotherhood of Shadows, come to me."